My Sister's Keeper Journal Entry

Dear Diary,
This is my last entry before I die, so I thought I would try to sum up my life.
When I was two, I remember running my fingers through my hair and whole patch of thin hair drifted to the floor. I got so scared and I woke my mum up and told her what happened. Like any loving mother she got frightened and took me to the doctors straight away.
I was diagnosed with Acute Promyelocytic Leukaemia.
I didn’t know this when I was two. I didn’t know about the effects it would have on my life or the others around me. However, my parents did. They tried their best to raise me like a normal child, but they never succeed. Growing up, I had this little grey, raining cloud over my head where I never knew what was going to happen but I knew for sure that it was something bad. My mother stayed up late at nights crying, my father would wake up and comfort her. I always felt guilty for all the sadness I was causing my family. My parents were so caught up in saving my life that they searched for a perfect donor but failed, they chose another option instead. A designer baby. A designer baby is when scientists organize and design a child to have specific characteristics and even decide their hair color and skin color. Well, in this case the baby would be designed to harvest blood, cell platelets, bone marrow, and anything else that I might need to survive.
Anna was the designer baby that my parents created so they could save me and kill her instead. She was full of life, always smiling and making others around her smile. Unlike me, I was always scared and wondering how my life will end, and people around me were usually sad. I don’t even remember the last time I made someone smile. Anna had numerous surgeries. When she was young, she was so afraid of sharp needles. I remember her kicking and screaming, and my mother and some of the other nurses would have to pin her down. Afterward, she would get a small, cheap gift from my parents to make her feel better. The joy in her eyes when she got those presents was indescribable but little that she knew those joys were only temporary after all…
Anna was the most beautiful girl ever. Just looking at her made me realize that she was the perfect daughter that my parents were dreaming of when they had me. She had long brown hair that glowed whenever she was in sunlight. She always wore girly dresses with little polka dots or love hearts that spun whenever she twirled. Whenever I looked at her blue eyes, I saw a sparkle that I never had in my life. I didn’t know how my parents could choose me over her. I couldn’t live with the guilt if Anna sacrificed her life because of mine. She had the whole world that she needed to discover.
One day the doctors said I couldn’t live without Anna’s kidneys and she couldn’t live with without them either. That meant that only one of us could live. I don't mind my disease killing me, but it's killing Anna, too. I made the decision not to take Anna’s kidneys.
These are the last few hours of my life. I wanted a perfect ending but now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
*While Kate was writing in her journal, her heart stops beating…*