Narcissism In The Modern World By Pat Macdonald

We can easily see how the Super Penguin would choose to walk around with an empty cup of a Starbucks beverage, thus advertising his or her taste for the finest things in life while singing ''I want to be me.'' Numerous examples are to be found all around us, and the media is singing all its beauty and pain in various forms for all to see and with which to compete.
But one must be careful to generalize narcissism as something to avoid -- An article written by Pat MacDonald entitled ''Narcissism in the modern world'' illustrates healthy and unhealthy narcissism. The author states that ''healthy narcissism involves a steady sense of one's worth, based on genuine achievement, the capacity to recover from disappointment or failure and the ability
to find comfort and support in relationships. (145)
She further explores healthy and unhealthy narcissism by describing that: we are all on a continuum between healthy and unhealthy narcissism with a range of narcissistic responses from the mild and transient to the fixed personality disorder. In unhealthy narcissism there may be serious disturbances in self-esteem which can ensnare the individual, just like Narcissus in a shallow world of self-obsession and grandiosity with nor warm or loving relationships. Grandiosity is a defense against deep feelings of inferiority and is neither constant nor consistent, leaving the individual torn between thinking himself wonderful or worthless. Lack of flexibility affects the capacity to respond fittingly to others and hampers the ability to carry out the tasks of everyday living.'' (145).
As we recognize that we are living in an age of self-entitlement, it is no wonder that narcissism is festered at a very early stage of life. In Pat MacDonald’s article, she reinforces the role of parents when citing that they narcissistically experience their
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children as emotional extensions of themselves.
There has been a move away from rules and boundary setting to children getting what they desire. Children today are often praised and told they are special, regardless of achievement. Such inflated feedback leads the child to believe he or she IS special, fostering narcissism and leading to a lack of sensitivity to the needs of others. Thus narcissistic attributes develop as the unintended consequence of the well-intentioned self-esteem movement and less authoritative parenting.
Pondering on the possible reasons for children’s behavior brings us back to a situation we witnessed a short while ago relating to our next door neighbors. The parents and children were in their backyard and while our houses are in proximity, we were distracted from reading by an escalating discussion next door. Their 8-year-old son was playing with some item and the father was telling him not to play with it as he might break it. The child persisted and the father's tone got more serious; after repeating a third time with no apparent recognition, the father's voice became even more serious but we noticed that each time he would add ''please'' at the end of ''do not touch this, it might break''... And then, to no surprise, we heard something break. The father got upset, told the child, ''I told you not to play with this, it is not a toy, and now you will go inside, to your room''. The child started crying and we heard the door close
forcefully. But then, the mother got upset at her husband! In no uncertain terms, she told her husband, ''Now you shouldn't have scolded him, now you go inside and apologize to your son for having scolded him!'' We were totally at a loss! Our observations on this seemingly ordinary situation brought