We were sitting in the doctor’s office when he told us, “your wife has breast cancer.” All of a sudden the room vanished and I found myself in a darker room, unable to feel anything. I wanted to cry but couldn’t. She was shocked, just like me. was staring into my eyes.
“Don’t worry sweetheart,” she said after a few minutes. “I am going to be OK.” She was smiling at me as if nothing had happened. I don’t know how she could be so fearless.
We had been married for 23 years; we had shared every single second of our happiness and grief together! Whenever I needed someone she was there with her kind heart. She always held my hands and told me “as long as you have me, you don’t need to worry.” I kept thinking what would happen to me if I lose those warm hands! At that time I was not able to think straight, I just had millions of flashes in front of my eyes seeing myself all alone in places where we had been together. When we got home, everything looked different: dining table, kitchen, the couch in front of the television.
The following day, we went to another doctor hoping that the other one had made a mistake, but the results were the same. He told us her cancer was so advanced that that they could do nothing for her and she had just 3-4 months to live.
When she heard that she just smiled at me. That moment was just a gateway to a gloomy future for me; I was sure that my life would not sense any joy again.
On our way back home, she asked to go to the restaurant where we spent our 23rd anniversary. She made me promise that I would come here every year. She might not have understood how hard it was for me to make that promise. My hands were shaking. I couldn’t breathe.
We ordered her favorite food. I couldn’t stop looking at her; looking at those eyes in which I had seen my life from the moment I met her.
The next month passed while my soul was dying along with her body, she had more pain those days, but she was very good at pretending that she