Long ago, when I was still green behind the ears, I enjoyed spending most of my evenings out on the town. I was eighteen, naive, and ready to take on the world. One night after spending my usual hour bathing, I was eager to go bar hopping.
As was customary for me, I slipped behind the wheel, dressed to kill, and sped down a long, back country road. Suddenly, rounding a sharp curve, I came upon an old, economy sized vehicle, pulled off onto the grass. There were no shoulders on the side of the road this far out. A well dressed, shapely woman stood nearby. She appeared dumbfounded and bewildered, staring at her vehicle. I instantly felt sorry for her; stranded and helpless, miles from any service station. I was confident that I could fix her problem, save the lady in distress, and spend my evening feeling good about helping someone out. I also hoped that I might impress her. I pulled up in front of her vehicle and hopped out, ready to assist, and conquer any challenge.
She appeared to be a couple years older than myself and was dressed professionally. She was tall and slender with long, straight red hair; what I call, eye candy. She covered her hourglass body with a sheer white blouse, tight blue skirt, and matching high heels. Although her beauty made me nervous, I introduced myself and asked her if she needed any help. She returned my smile and pleaded, Yes, please. My father told me that my car has vapor lock. I replied, ignorantly, I dont have the slightest idea what that is, or what to do about it. She said, Its really simple. We just need to get the gas up into the carburetor and it will start flowing again. All you have to do is seal your mouth around the gas tank and blow as hard as you can. Its the only way to get the engine primed.I stared at her in disbelief. My only thought was, did she just say what I thought she said? She noticed my shock, immediately flashed me her sad puppy dog eyes, and said longingly, Please? How could I say no? I prepared for my embarrassing task at hand by checking the road for vehicles, carrying potential witnesses, and seeking for a well hidden Alan Funt with a movie camera. Luckily for me, the road we were on was secluded enough that we were the only cars in sight, nor could I spot any cameras. I started to have second thoughts but I just couldnt deny this woman and leave her stranded. I went to work sealing my mouth against the rusty gas inlet. The stench of petroleum was thick and nearly overwhelming. When I had a good seal, I blew with all my might. My cheeks expanded outward as I built up the pressure in the tank, forcing the fuel up the line. Just then I heard laughter as a carload of teenagers cruised by. The damsel in distress was kind enough not to laugh, although I did notice, she was sporting a rather sizeable grin. She jumped in her car, turned the ignition, and the engine roared to life. After I replaced the gas cap, the lady yelled, thanks, and sped away. I waved and got back into my vehicle.
After getting over the initial embarrassment, I decided to just be happy that I had helped someone out of a jam, and head on out to the clubs. I strapped myself in and started the car, checking the rearview for any approaching traffic. I then received my second wave of embarrassment. During my rescue attempt to save another individual, I had received a deep, red, indented ring around my mouth and cheeks. I was frozen in my seat with shock as the reality of the situation set in. Although my new acquaintance hadnt laughed in front of me, I would wager she did after departing. I suddenly realized why she had left so quickly, without even offering her name. I also realized that my evening was officially over. I turned the car around and headed for home, content to spend the evening with a good book, or curled up in front of the television with a bowl of popcorn.
Ive definitely changed my thought process when it comes to helping people. Ive learned to evaluate and approach every situation with cunning intellect and plenty of forethought. Although I paid a high price for my kindness, I can take comfort in the fact that, not only did I help out a perfect stranger, I also gave her the gift of laughter. Hopefully, there is no video.
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