News Articles Inspired by Othello

Turks Defeat an Act of God? Just last week, a massive storm hit just off the coast of Cyprus. The Turkish fleet that has been waiting to attack Cyprus was decimated. The authorities have given us little information, but we have been led to believe that the entire fleet was destroyed. However, Othello (ship pictured above), somehow made it through the storm and arrived at Cyprus late in the night. Religious leaders are beginning to question if there was divine intervention involved. It was overheard that Cassio yelled, “O, let the heavens give him defense against the elements!”, apparently his prayers were answered!

Cassio Demoted! Chance of Reinstatement? With the entire island of Cyprus rejoicing, the military seems to be falling apart. Cassio, charged to maintain watch through the night after the storm that destroyed the Turkish fleet, became drunk and started a fight with Montano. The fight started when Rodrigo was apparently harassing Cassio, who in his drunken state was quickly enraged and chased him across the ramparts. Montano stepped in and tried to stop the fight but was quickly turned on by Cassio wielding a rapier. Reports read that immediately after the fight, Othello appeared and put a stop to it. However, he was not very happy, and yelled, “Zounds, if I stir or do but lift this arm, the best of you shall sink in my rebuke.” He then went on to tell Cassio to “never more be officer of mine”. Othello is often times known to be taken over by quick acts of rage. It is yet to be determined if he will reinstate Cassio into the army. It was well known that Cassio and Othello were extremely close friends and it was even rumored that they may have been something even closer than that. So, Cassio, distressed at the loss of his closest friend, is now seeking help from Desdemona. She may very well be the only one who can save him now, and get him back into Othello’s good graces. However, if Cassio doesn’t get reinstated, then that means there would be an open position in the military. Iago would be the most logical choice, however; he was passed over the last time and Cassio was promoted in his stead. This could be cause for some serious resentment! I think we have revenge on the horizon!

Tips on Housewifery. Good or Bad? You Decide! Emilia, wife of Iago, sat down with us last week and gave us several tips on being a good housewife. The tips she gave us are the things that she actually lives by and practices daily. First off, always look presentable and well dressed, so that you always may be an accessory to your husband and not a hag. Also always be ready and willing for anything he asks of you. Emilia told us that obedience is the number one thing. If you can’t obey and follow you husband, then you’ve already destroyed and demolished his reputation, which in turn means yours is gone as well. On a more discreet note, she told us that women are actually the political backbone of their husbands careers. She said, “Who would not make her husband a cuckold to make him a monarch?” Emilia is considered, by herself, the perfect housewife. She would do literally anything to help her husband or his career. However, these methods may not be the best housewife tips, but according to Emilia it’s the only way to go. We’ll leave this up to the individual reader to decide!

Handkerchief Troubles
Othello gave Desdemona his mother’s handkerchief on their wedding day. It was white with strawberries on it and supposedly had magic laced into it. Recently the newly wed couple got into a fight in public. It was said that they were fighting about the handkerchief that his dieing mother gave him, and that he then passed on to Desdemona. He yelled at her and asked, “Is’t lost? Is’t gone? Speak, isn’t out o’th’ way?”. To which she side stepped the question and hurriedly left the scene. Is this newly wed couple already falling apart? Even after all the opposition they went through just to see each other?

Emilia ignores husbands Commands? After the most recent events of Desdemona’s tragic death. Iago ordered Emilia to go home and “charm your tongue”. Emilia responded, “ ‘Tis proper I obey him, but not now. Perchance, Iago, I will ne’er go home.” Emilia, always being the kind and respectful wife, shocked us when this was uncovered. We know little else of what happened last night but it must have been something even graver that but one death for her to act so brazenly. Perhaps this stand against Iago may signify something much greater? Possibly even the end of their relationship.

Travel to Cyprus! The Royal Traveling Merchants Fleet has several passenger positions available in this months trip to Cyprus! If you’ve been stuck in one place for too long and tired of the same routine everyday, then this is your chance! We have 14 passenger bunks still available. Since we want to maximize our load we are offering a reduced price of 2 shillings per bunk. Hop on down to your local harbor to secure your spot before they all fill up!