Parenting: Family and Little Girl

All about Parenting by Amy Mills
Our house was off any main roads, we lived in the country, and our house was surrounded by nothing but trees. The only neighbors we had was about two blocks away, and they were all older people also. My grandparents lived on top of the hill from us. As a child there were no kids to play with as I was an only child. I and my mother pull up our very long driveway that looks like the trees are going to eat the car. The house gets closer and closer and my fear grows by the second. How I wished that the driveway was longer that day. Then my mother’s old blue ford with the blue velvet seats pulls to a stop outside our house. She tells me “Go to your room so I can talk to your father”. Those dreaded words no child ever wanted to hear growing up. So I walk down the hallway to my room, knowing how much trouble I truly am in. Then I hear them talking in a low dull whisper trying very hard to hear what is being said, but at the same time not wanting to hear. Then just a few moments later my father yells “Amy get in here now”. Oh the fear and panic is so out of control I can barely talk. My farther asks me what was I thinking and at that moment my brain just wanted to stop working completely, I had no idea what to say or do. Well that just made him madder and told me to go outside and find a switch. As I walk out the door to the edge of the woods, I was thinking why had I done what I did what was I thinking. So I get to the woods and start looking around, I see all sorts of trees and branches and dried up leaves. Finally after just walking around wasting time, I start looking for the smallest switch I can find, thinking it would hurt less. However as much as I don’t want to have to find a switch in the first place I find one and take it back into the house. Then I start crying hoping that it will make it better. However the switch isn’t good enough so intern my mom storms out the house into the woods to find one. This just made her madder than she was before. After the longest fifteen minutes of my life she comes back into the house to whip my butt for doing who knows with my constant defiantness. I remember what is the purpose of this, why would you treat your child like this.
Later I got into high school wanting to go out and do things with my friends, like go to the movies with no curfew and be able to go to parties. No, I was not allowed to do much of anything at all, I wasn’t even allowed to work when I was in high school. In high school I felt like such a dork because I was not allowed to do anything any of the other kids were allowed to do. Therefore I thought that my parents were so unreasonable. I felt like I was being treated as a kindergartener. By not having a social life outside of school at all.
When I was 22 years old I found out I was pregnant. Which at that time I thought was the worst thing in the world. How could I raise a child when I could not even take care of myself? How do you teach another person morals, honesty, self-confidence and all those important things a child needs to learn. The morning of June 12, 2002 changed my whole life! I delivered the most beautiful perfect little girl. Even though my little girl which I named Destiny, had a crooked little foot from sitting crossed legged in my belly. All I seen was the most perfect little girl I had ever seen.
The older Destiny got the more boundaries she tried to push. As her being my child I did not expect anything else from her. The day finally came that my baby started kindergarten. It was a bittersweet day! I get up go into her room wake her up, I go into the kitchen and fix her some pancakes for breakfast. She comes into the kitchen after getting dressed and she looks so cute in her new clothes and new tennis shoes for school. We eat breakfast then I get her book bag and we get into the car to go to school. I remember as I am driving looking into the back seat looking at her thinking is my little girl this big this fast. She was looking out the window on the ride there, she looked so nervous, but she would not tell me that. Every time I looked at her I almost burst into tears, because my baby was going to school. After a very long and emiontal drive I get to the school and pull into a parking place. As I look around I see a lot of other mothers and fathers getting their children out of cars and walking them into school for the first time of the year. As I help Destiny out of the car, give her book bag. This looks ten times bigger than her. She looks up at me with an unsure little face, that’s when I say to her “It will be just fine, you will have so much fun playing with new friends coloring and making crafts.” She gives me the cutest little smile. So we continue into the classroom I introduce her to her teacher and I watch as the teacher takes he r to her desk and tells her where to put all of her things. As I am standing along with many other parents freaking out in their own little way, I feel as though my whole world is crashing down. I walk over and give Destiny and hug and kiss goodbye and say “I hope you have a great day sunshine have lots of fun and I will see you this afternoon.” Then I walk out the classroom as fast as I can, to avoid Destiny seeing me crying. Barely make it to the car and burst into tears, all I kept thinking is this really how my parents felt raising me. Sitting in the parking lot in hysterics it hits me how my parents were with me they allowed me to make mistakes and be my own person. To a child everything a parent does they think is right. I understand so much of why my parents raised me the way they did. As a parent you want to protect your child at all costs. Therefore you try to teach them to be a better person than you are. To teach them not to make the same mistakes that you did as a child. Being a parent is one of the hardest things in the world to do.