"Parenting Styles and their Effects on Children" This essay is about the three different styles of parenting, including definitions, descriptions, and effects.

Parenting Styles and their

Effects on Children

Every parent is different in his or her own way. Each one has one of three different parenting styles. These are authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive styles. One's parenting style is usually a result of their own upbringing, their role models, or simply from the society in which they live. The style in which one parents, is a very important aspect to the way a parent interacts with their child (Edwards, Rebecca. Parenting Styles).

Parents want their children to grow into socially mature individuals. It can be frustrating to try and figure out the best way to parent your child and help them turn out to be socially mature. Diana Baumrind emphasizes four different parenting styles. Baumrinds parenting styles are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and neglectful (Santrock, J. Page 277). However, many other psychologists believe in only three parenting styles, and that neglect is not a particular style of parenting, but rather a sub-style of permissive parenting (Myers, David, G. Page 111).

Authoritarian parenting is when the parents are very strict. They have a high number of rules, and they handle disobedience by yelling, blaming, or threatening. Children living in authoritarian households don't learn to think for themselves or make good decisions. This results from being afraid to make decisions and being expected to obey. These children often become rebellious in their teenage years. Authoritative parents believe in giving their children choices. These parents have some rules, but they also have reasonable consequences to go along with breaking them. When these rules are broken, the children accept their punishment. In the process of forming the rules, the parents take time to sit down with the children and explain the reasons for the rules that are made, and let the children know ahead of time what the consequences will be for breaking them. This creates an understanding between parent and child. One example of an authoritative parent, would be setting a bed time of 9:00, but allowing the child to stay up late for special occasions, such as having a guest over the house. Permissive parents are the exact opposite of authoritarian parents. They have very few rules without consistent limits. These children usually always get their way, because their parents give in to the child's wants very easily. When rules are made, they are rarely followed through with. In a permissive household, the children are in charge. One example of a permissive parent would be disregarding a bedtime completely and allowing the child to go to bed whenever he or she becomes tired. These children often turn out to be spoiled or selfish. This is a result of being able to do whatever they want (Edwards, Rebecca. Parenting Styles).

Authoritative parenting is said to be the best type of parenting. Children growing up with authoritative parents usually have the highest self-esteem, self-reliance, and social competence (Myers, David, G. Page 112). These parents also provide their children with a greater sense of self control than they would get from either an authoritarian or permissive parent. Some reasons for permissive parenting may be resulting from their childhood. Their parents may have been strict, therefore this may be a reaction to them disliking the way they were brought up. This is why misbehavior is usually ignored (Dinwiddie, Sue. Why Yesterdays Models Won't Work for Today).

There are several methods of discipline which can "promote self worth". One example could be dealing with toddlers. It is often hard to distract them, but most of the time their attention can be redirected to something that is similar to what they were already doing, but is all right to be doing. Perhaps a child took a toy from another child. One approach rather than yelling at the child, would be to go up to the boy or girl and say to them "that's Peters toy, but I have another one for you to play with". This can teach the child that they have the right to choose what to do, but that other children around them have rights as well. By parents spending a lot of time with their children, sharing activities, and complimenting their child's efforts, a positive environment will form. This environment will help the child's self-esteem to increase, and also make the child feel valued (Positive Discipline).

Some negative disciplinary methods used quite often are using sarcastic remarks, blaming, criticizing or using physical punishment. Remarks such as "Stop that!", or "Don't do it that way!" harm a young child's self esteem. Discipline techniques such as a time-out chair or removal from a group can have negative consequences for the child (Positive Discipline). Sometimes it's hard for a parent to decide how they want to care for their child. For those parents who want unquestioning, obedient children, the authoritarian style may have the effect they are looking for. On the other hand, those parents who value a child's sociability and self-reliance, the authoritative style of being firm, but open, may have the effect they are looking for. In the end, it all depends on how a parent wants their child to grow up.