Personal Narrative: Charlie's Life

My life partner Charlie recurringly dreamed that he would die when he was thirty. This premonition came true and changed his life and our family forever. At age thirty-one a brain tumor ended Charlie’s life. . In eighteen months Charlie went from a healthy employed person to gravely ill, to recovering, but, in the end, dying. The challenges of losing your best friend, life companion, father of your child, in addition to being alienated from Charlie’s family, is challenge enough to ?devastate some people. We had just had a great holiday season. We spent time with all of Charlie’s family, his parents wintered in Florida and the Christmas season was spent together while they were in Maine. Charlie’s father and uncle were great
He was a welder before the surgery and subsequent seizures. The company would not allow Charlie to continue as a welder, so they found him a position as an environmental engineer. Charlie was full of spunk and had many cohorts at work to help with his pranks. His friends would watch him for signs of seizures or the after effects. Most of Charlie’s seizures happened at home as his body rested. We kept Charlie’s family informed of all that was taking place, and they were very supportive. The summer was spent camping close to family and friends. We enjoyed each other’s company, and Charlie’s family had their first Upham family reunion that summer. Missy was now in first grade and having fun with her friends. We had another great Thanksgiving through the Christmas holiday season. As I was getting used to Charlie’s seizures and sleeping in his chair after dinner until bed; I started noticing the seizures getting worse, a bit more confusion following them. I brushed it off sensing that there may be nothing but fearing he was getting worse again. A few weeks later we had gone to a going away party for a friend of Charlie’s and the next week; Charlie asked when we were going to this party. I told him we had already gone and he asked if he had been a good boy. I called the Neurologist the next day and set up an appointment. The doctor scheduled a CT Scan, and from
I insisted that Missy join us so that she would see her dad in his hospital room and ask questions to the nurses and not be scared. We were coming home from dropping her father off, and she asked if her daddy was going to die. I thought, “Oh from the mouths of babes!” I assured her that everyone dies at some point, but that wasn’t why Daddy was there. The biopsy showed a class four astrocytoma of the midbrain and the surgeon informed us that radiation was the only way to reduce and stop its spread for a while. The tumor would take his life in five or ten years if we were lucky. The radiation was set up in Augusta at Maine General, which was thirty minutes from home. The church we attended were great; they set up a schedule for driving Charlie to his treatments so that I could work. I was able to change my work schedule to four ten-hour days and be available to talk with the radiologist on Fridays. Charlie’s family wouldn’t help with the rides to his treatments, they started blaming me for his cancer, and became quite nasty about any decisions I made. They even made mention that I was neglecting Charlie because I was still working. The church helped with the transportation to and from radiation and tried to include the immediate family to no avail. The tension from Charlie’s family harassment had gotten so intolerable that we took off to go with friends camping for the weekend. Missy had such a good