Personal Narrative-Control
Tapping the table anxiously waiting for that buzzer to finally beep, I am ready to end this. beep, beep, beep. My self control wasn’t always the best. I would speak my mind often. My mouth was at times as fast as a Nascar and as out of control as a tornado. I was at a debate tournament and I was about to ask the opposing team my questions about the South China Sea conflict. I was so anxious to ask but couldn’t due to the timer. My impulsivity is pretty unique. It’s like my super power in that it can really help me in situations where I need to think quickly and when dealing with people, but it can really be hard to control at times and work against me. It could be compared to the Incredible Hulk and his rage and super-strength. There are times where I’m able to exercise self-control, but others where it’s harder to.
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As an example of the latter, back in 10th grade, I made the biggest mistake of my high school career when I had an argument with my principal “Come with me Jonathan” so many thoughts on what to say went through my head but before I can even stop myself it shot out “no, leave me alone don’t speak to me”.
How did that just come out without me instructing it? How did I let myself give in and lose it all? This was a prime example of my impulsivity being a negative impact on me and others, and something I’ve since worked hard on to overcome. I realized right away what I did was wrong and something that I wanted to make up for. I wrote her a letter of apology and we met in person to discuss what happened. I was both lucky and grateful that she gave me a second chance, but also cautioned me to always be aware of both who I’m speaking with and what it is I am
saying. I took these lessons to heart and I try to remember them as often as I can in order to not use my impulsivity negatively. In my debate class I have learned how to use my impulses in more of a positive way such as quickly coming up with counter-arguments and thinking ahead of my opponents. Debate has also helped me learn how to control my impulsivity more due to the waiting time in between rounds and additionally helped my writing and reading skills. Every time I have an impulse and I want to scream at my opponent I instead catch myself and rip out a piece of paper and begin writing and preparing my counter-arguments. I have now gained more self control, am more mature, and though it’s a work in progress, have started to harness my impulsivity for good.
Like Bruce Banner (aka the Incredible Hulk), I have learned that when I can control and channel my emotions and impulses in a positive way, they can be a force for good in my life, in the lives of those around me, and in my academic pursuits. They help me think critically, enable me to challenge assumptions, and have made a better student and person overall.
As an example of the latter, back in 10th grade, I made the biggest mistake of my high school career when I had an argument with my principal “Come with me Jonathan” so many thoughts on what to say went through my head but before I can even stop myself it shot out “no, leave me alone don’t speak to me”.
How did that just come out without me instructing it? How did I let myself give in and lose it all? This was a prime example of my impulsivity being a negative impact on me and others, and something I’ve since worked hard on to overcome. I realized right away what I did was wrong and something that I wanted to make up for. I wrote her a letter of apology and we met in person to discuss what happened. I was both lucky and grateful that she gave me a second chance, but also cautioned me to always be aware of both who I’m speaking with and what it is I am
saying. I took these lessons to heart and I try to remember them as often as I can in order to not use my impulsivity negatively. In my debate class I have learned how to use my impulses in more of a positive way such as quickly coming up with counter-arguments and thinking ahead of my opponents. Debate has also helped me learn how to control my impulsivity more due to the waiting time in between rounds and additionally helped my writing and reading skills. Every time I have an impulse and I want to scream at my opponent I instead catch myself and rip out a piece of paper and begin writing and preparing my counter-arguments. I have now gained more self control, am more mature, and though it’s a work in progress, have started to harness my impulsivity for good.
Like Bruce Banner (aka the Incredible Hulk), I have learned that when I can control and channel my emotions and impulses in a positive way, they can be a force for good in my life, in the lives of those around me, and in my academic pursuits. They help me think critically, enable me to challenge assumptions, and have made a better student and person overall.