Personal Narrative Essay On Personal Identity

Identity I felt as though my identity was useless and I myself was useless. I knew enough about friendships to know when it was a one sided friendship. That was about the only thing I knew for a while. I also could recognize when someone only talked to me to get close to another. My self-esteem beat me and ripped me apart like a lion rips apart a zebra. I felt as if no one wanted to be around me, I was too awkward, with an unpleasant face and unhealthy body. “Grace!” I heard someone exclaim, and I turned around in excitement. It wasn’t directed towards me. It never was. There were several…or rather, thousands of Grace’s around me, who had perfect bodies, perfect makeup, and perfect hair. Everyone loved to talk to them. Pretty soon I didn’t even turn my head when I heard my name. I knew it wasn’t meant for me. I kept all of these feelings inside for the longest time. I let the sin of hating myself overcome me. It wasn’t until the one person who actually paid attention to me, the one person who thought I was
funny and cool…it wasn’t until when they met a different Grace, a different person, who was prettier, funnier, and more outgoing. It wasn’t until then, that moment, which I began to hate myself fully. I could feel tears coming to my eyes. “I’ll be fine,” I muttered to myself, hoping that by saying it, it will come true. But the tears kept coming. My friend (or rather, sister) noticed, and took me away, down the sidewalk, and up the steps to the old church building. The night was cool, the wind slight, and barely any people were stirring in the streets. It was then that I full-on bawled, putting my head on her shoulder, shaking. I told her more than I knew myself, in the 20 minutes we stayed there. You could see her eyes form a crystal, and she quickly blinked them away. “Grace…” I flinched, because the name was so familiar, yet so unfamiliar, because for once it was directed towards me.
“You are beautiful. It pains me to know you feel like this.” She talked for a while, and I listened closely to every word. But, it was when she said nine specific words to me that I realized I had been looking at my situation the wrong way for so long. In those ten seconds, I cried, and shook, because I knew that the relationship/friendship I had with God was the most important, and I had been neglecting it. It shouldn’t matter what others think of me. The only thing that should matter is who I am to God, and what my relationship with him looks like. I didn’t know this for so long, and I wish I did. Because those 20 minutes with my best friend, alone in the howling wind and chilly air, were my favorite 20 minutes of the whole summer. “Your identity is in Christ, not in this world,” she told me. I smiled, cried, understood, and
agreed.