Personal Narrative: Grandfather's Death

I believe in cherishing your loved ones before they leave you forever. It seems that all thought your childhood you believe that your loved ones will never die. “Grandpa will never die” I thought when I was younger. It turns out I was very wrong. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer when I was 8. When I was 9, his cancer progressed and the doctors had to take out his stomach. He had to be fed through a tube in his stomach just so he could live. He suffered so much and was in so much pain. I remember looking into his eyes and seeing so much pain and sadness. I cried every night because of how much pain he went through. When he died, I wouldn’t talk to anybody besides my little sister. He was one of my closest friends, I would sit with him as he played sudoku, talking and laughing about life. Around the time when he died, that’s when my depression started. I couldn't concentrate on anything, eat, or sleep, my mind was filled with the thoughts of my grandpa and I found myself falling into a deep depression. His death impacted my life so much. His death caused me to lose many nights of
sleep and when school started, I wasn’t the same person anymore. I wasn’t as happy as I used to be. I’m still not the same person I was before his death. Every year, this depression gets worse. It impacted everyone’s life. Everyone in my family misses him so much. This all began in Montebello, California inside Olive Garden a few years back. The whole family was gathered together, there were 16 of us, for my sister’s birthday. We were all laughing, smiling, eating, and sighing in content as we had finished the last of the breadsticks. My Grandpa, who was sitting next to me, wasn’t speaking all that much. I asked him what was wrong and he responded to me in Spanish, “Don’t worry about it precious.” I smiled and nodded while saying okay and continued eating my chicken and gnocchi soup. Out of nowhere, my dad received a phone call from my Grandpa’s doctor. He answered and it suddenly grew very quiet and cold. Once he hung up, he had tears in his eyes while he told us my Grandpa had cancer. All of a sudden nobody was very hungry anymore. Since I was only 8 at the time, I didn’t understand what was happening and just kept eating. Once I noticed that everybody was quiet, I asked my Grandpa why it was so quiet. He just smiled at me as he told me “Nothing baby.” and kissed my forehead. When we went home that night, my parents told me that my Grandpa was dying and I wouldn’t accept. “He can’t die, this is Grandpa we’re talking about here.” I thought to myself. Eventually, when he died, it tore my heart apart once I realized that he was truly gone. And since I look exactly like him, it hurts me to look at myself in the mirror every day.

This ignorance wouldn’t solve anything in my life.
I kept lying to myself that he would be okay but the day he died, I was truly heartbroken. Once he died on the first day of summer, right after school ended, I didn’t know what to do. I spent my entire summer crying myself to sleep and waking up crying from my dreams that I had with him. Every year on our birthday, September 27, I cry because I look at myself in the mirror and remind myself of him. Before he died, I used to love my birthday with all of my heart. But now, I hate my birthday because it just reminds me that I didn’t love my Grandpa enough before he died. Every day I wish I had said or done something better to him before he died so he felt loved. Don’t take your loved ones for granted and cherish them while they are still here. Ignoring the situation does not help you in times like these, it just makes everything
worse.