Personal Narrative: My Relationship With Alcoholic Father

“You never know how strong you truly are until being strong is the only option you have.” This is what I have come to realize in my life.
My father is a recovering alcoholic. At home, I did the typical things that all little girls do; played with dolls, stuffed animals, colored pictures, and participated in various sports. As a young child I grew up adapting to everything he did, thinking it was normal. At that time, I did not know his behavior was different from other adults. As I grew older I started to understand my father faced challenges that I needed to accept and adjust to. Although difficult, being exposed to his behaviors at such a young age has helped me recognize the connection of how negative actions can adversely affect a person.
There were many tough days at home. My father’s struggles with alcohol were emotionally draining. At times, he would be home for months, no work since he was either in rehab or in the worst case scenario, prison for making poor decisions while intoxicated. His disease not only affected him, it impacted and challenged everyone who had daily contact with him; especially me.
I felt obligated to be a sophisticated person; making my own decisions and helping my mother with my younger brother. My father was unreliable and offered no guidance, making me feel lost and hopeless. It hurt me to see him battle his disease and not able to help him. There were nights I could not sleep thinking of my father and how things should change. I would drift off into another place and time wishing my life was normal, but reality would soon set back in. Numerous questions would run through my head; how can I help, if things were different; would life be better, and how can I turn this situation into a positive