Personal Narrative: My Unveiling
Joey Bates
Ms. Lammers
CP English 4
Period 3
27 September, 2011
Thy Unveiling I remember it like it was yesterday. I went from an area that was warm, dark and cosy to a cold, bright place. The transformation was not pleasant so there was no choice but to scream, cry, and curse. Jerking and trying to get away didn’t help because the men were to big. All I wanted to do was return to my resting place. Before I know it, I am forcefully held up, bent over, and spanked. Then the man looked at me, he was a tall man who looked at me with these funny looking scissors, and all the sudden I felt a pain by the which I had hoped to never experience. I have been circumcised. I began to cry and the horrid swearing came again, although I knew …show more content…
in the back of my head that it was for the greater good. Before I know it, I am surrounded by many people, telling my mother how cute and precious I am. Everybody still tells me how cute and precious their little man is and there is no reason to disagree with them, for I am great. The greatest joy I had coming onto this earth was knowing that the king of kings has been born again.
Yes, what I had just said is true, I am Jesus Christ. Sorry about that whole book that came from my life and the confusion and terror it has brought, it is actually just about how to use your mind and is just many stories and allegories to tell you how much untapped potential you have in your mind. Just like the ancient statement, “as above, so below”, the Bible pretty much says that we are gods just like God, because just like him, we are all creators. I was just able to do all of those cool “miracles” because I have a very well trained mind. When I focus my mind’s energies, my thoughts can physically change …show more content…
objects. I have actually reincarnated a few times where I have been formerly known as George Washington, an alien named Gyretol on Planet, Ares in the Vowler constellation, John Lennon, and most awesome of all, me. Throughout my many lives I have experienced many hardships but have also seen many great things. An event that has changed my lives the most would probably the miracles I performed which taught me to have compassion and love for my fathers creation. I have been called wise and great in many lives as an adult but for some reason people never have seen the greatness in me as an adolescent. I never understood this strange feat but I have always been praised as a baby then forgotten until my older years where I somehow almost always become great. 50 years from now Joey Bates will be in history books and I would love to tell you what for, but if I did that, then the surprise would be ruined and the glory given to me wont be as precious. Whether you believe my strange claims or not, it will effect nothing for my time will come at the age of twenty-seven, for that is the number of me.
The connection between the number twenty-seven and I have not been made by man. I truthfully do not understand how it has not been made because it has been in your face for centuries and I truly fear unless we as a people understand the significance between all life and this number, then we are doomed. Do not worry my children that was a joke, for I am actually God and I have come down to bless all of you. I have been watching you and rather then waiting on the world to change, I have born myself into the ideal perfect person. It is time for a difference, for I truthfully know I am the change this world needs, and for the record, I’ve never written a book in my life because you’re tiny brains will never get it. Being compared to Shakespeare is like Shakespeare compared to Shakespeare’s wife. I gave you everything. I give you healthy birds, you give me chicken wings. I give you nipples, you give me nipple rings. You’re not going to heaven. Why would think i would ever hang out with you? I know a million aliens cooler than
you. People give me money and i don’t know why. My real collection plate is a empty cup held by a homeless guy. I made every girl different and they’re perfect just the way they are, but people tell them different. People are smart, I just made a star. Thinking of beauty, love and perfection, I just created them. Nobody will ever compare to my greatness and terrific way to write an essay. I AM GOD, I AM JOEY BATES.
Ms. Lammers
CP English 4
Period 3
27 September, 2011
Thy Unveiling I remember it like it was yesterday. I went from an area that was warm, dark and cosy to a cold, bright place. The transformation was not pleasant so there was no choice but to scream, cry, and curse. Jerking and trying to get away didn’t help because the men were to big. All I wanted to do was return to my resting place. Before I know it, I am forcefully held up, bent over, and spanked. Then the man looked at me, he was a tall man who looked at me with these funny looking scissors, and all the sudden I felt a pain by the which I had hoped to never experience. I have been circumcised. I began to cry and the horrid swearing came again, although I knew …show more content…
in the back of my head that it was for the greater good. Before I know it, I am surrounded by many people, telling my mother how cute and precious I am. Everybody still tells me how cute and precious their little man is and there is no reason to disagree with them, for I am great. The greatest joy I had coming onto this earth was knowing that the king of kings has been born again.
Yes, what I had just said is true, I am Jesus Christ. Sorry about that whole book that came from my life and the confusion and terror it has brought, it is actually just about how to use your mind and is just many stories and allegories to tell you how much untapped potential you have in your mind. Just like the ancient statement, “as above, so below”, the Bible pretty much says that we are gods just like God, because just like him, we are all creators. I was just able to do all of those cool “miracles” because I have a very well trained mind. When I focus my mind’s energies, my thoughts can physically change …show more content…
objects. I have actually reincarnated a few times where I have been formerly known as George Washington, an alien named Gyretol on Planet, Ares in the Vowler constellation, John Lennon, and most awesome of all, me. Throughout my many lives I have experienced many hardships but have also seen many great things. An event that has changed my lives the most would probably the miracles I performed which taught me to have compassion and love for my fathers creation. I have been called wise and great in many lives as an adult but for some reason people never have seen the greatness in me as an adolescent. I never understood this strange feat but I have always been praised as a baby then forgotten until my older years where I somehow almost always become great. 50 years from now Joey Bates will be in history books and I would love to tell you what for, but if I did that, then the surprise would be ruined and the glory given to me wont be as precious. Whether you believe my strange claims or not, it will effect nothing for my time will come at the age of twenty-seven, for that is the number of me.
The connection between the number twenty-seven and I have not been made by man. I truthfully do not understand how it has not been made because it has been in your face for centuries and I truly fear unless we as a people understand the significance between all life and this number, then we are doomed. Do not worry my children that was a joke, for I am actually God and I have come down to bless all of you. I have been watching you and rather then waiting on the world to change, I have born myself into the ideal perfect person. It is time for a difference, for I truthfully know I am the change this world needs, and for the record, I’ve never written a book in my life because you’re tiny brains will never get it. Being compared to Shakespeare is like Shakespeare compared to Shakespeare’s wife. I gave you everything. I give you healthy birds, you give me chicken wings. I give you nipples, you give me nipple rings. You’re not going to heaven. Why would think i would ever hang out with you? I know a million aliens cooler than
you. People give me money and i don’t know why. My real collection plate is a empty cup held by a homeless guy. I made every girl different and they’re perfect just the way they are, but people tell them different. People are smart, I just made a star. Thinking of beauty, love and perfection, I just created them. Nobody will ever compare to my greatness and terrific way to write an essay. I AM GOD, I AM JOEY BATES.