Personal Narrative Of Becoming Pregnant

Personal Narrative Becoming pregnant at sixteen is disappointing, but losing your child is devastating.Itwas a chilly february morning when I found that i was expecting, and with tear stained cheeks and shakyhands, i sought my mother's comfort. We cried and cried until we could cry no more.She told me it would all be okay and that I strong. I didn't believe her. As the months went by, my strength to overcome was revealed to methrough the 8 months spent waiting, the temporary stay in Atlanta, and the inevitable loss of my son. Pregnancy was a challenge, but one i met with a smile. I was delighted to watch the gradual growth of my belly and all the kicks, flutters, and hiccups that come with it.It did not matter to me that getting stares and
I was originally going to Atlanta to meet the surgeon that would operate on my babies heart when he was born. I had no idea they would be rushing me to the hospital to have an emergancy c-section. His heart rate dropped and he had to come out, if he had any chance at surviving. I thought I would have a heart attack with all the worry and rushing going on. I was extremely anxious knowing that my son would be 7 weeks early. I wasn't able to see him until three days after I had him. He was airlifted to a childrens hospital fifteen minutes away from the hospital I was in. . When I did get to see him, I was both happy and saddened. Seeing him hooked up to so many wires and tubes was disheartening and It felt like my cheeks were permanatly tear stained from that moment on. After I was released from the hospital, I was able to stay in a Ronald Mcdonald house that was only 2 blocks from where he was staying. I loved everything about Atlanta. I remember watching the trees slowly change colors as we transferred into fall. I remember the crisp air that made me think of pumpkin patches and apple pie. I remember watching students walking to the nearby college with determination in their stride. I remember seeing all the babies in the CICU and wishing they would all get better. I remember praying that my Elijah would be healed and we could go
He had an irregular heart beat as well as a heart defect and undeveloped lungs. He was born 7 weeks early and just too many problems for anything to ever get better. If one thing was going well, another problem with his small body arose. It was a never ending cycle, and it was exhausting. I had two choices I had to decide between. I could keep the ongoing treatment which would ensure another shock treatment for his heart rate or I could wheen him off everything and let him go peacefully. I decided to wheen him off because I couldn't stomach the thought of putting him through another shock treatment. His small body was already black and blue all over. It would take him months to recover just that one shock. I got to hold my baby for the first time as he took his last breath. I was utterly devastated and heartbroken beyond repair. I could not see how my life could go on after losing my Elijah. My grief is overwhelming sometimes. There are days where I see no light, no happiness in the things I once did. I keep moving, because I have jesus to light my way for me. I believe that Elijah was sent to me to for a reason, whatever that reason was, he served it in the 13 days he was on this earth. He lives in my heart now, where I know without a doubt he will never