Pressure In Youth Sports

If you ever played in competitive sports as a child, then what I am about to tell you about will sound very familiar. Have you ever been pressured by your parents, friends or coaches to do extremely well in any sport or activity you did? Growing up in the late 90’s and into the future, the way parents and coaches act towards their children and players has changed a lot. I have been playing basketball since I was five years old. Luckily for me my parents have never pressured me or pushed me too far. As I was growing up my parents always encouraged me to do my best all the time. Being only five foot four and a female I wasn’t getting very far in the basketball world. My parents never told me I could do things that I really couldn’t do. They
never once told me I would ever play in the WNBA or play at a Division 1 college. I had dreams of playing in the big leagues in college and in the pros, I told my parents about it one day but they sat me down and told me the truth. They told me that I did have a lot of talent, enough talent to play in college but definitely not D1. They also told me that I wasn’t tall enough and couldn’t go to the pros on just talent. I have seen too many parents who only put their kids in sports to get them out of the house or to relive their youth through their kids. I have also witnessed parents who are so concerned about not hurting their child’s feelings that they continually tell them how good they are doing when their child’s effort level doesn’t compare to the talk. There is a fine line between false praise and warranted praise. These situations are all about the parents and do not attend to their child’s best interests. Applying too much parental pressure is never good. There is a fine line between some normal pressure and “pushing” a child with excessive pressure. Parents usually go into the pushing stage when kids get very upset over their parent's advice, questions or actions to the point where they question if playing is worth it any more. There are many things that parents could say or do, that could push their child “over the edge.” Some of the things they could say are, "You have to practice more" or "Why don’t you think out there (in the game)" or "When I was your age I could…” or "I am not coming to your games anymore if that is the way you are going to play." These may not sound so bad, but to the child that is giving their all, it could be the “breaking point.” Some of the things that parents do are, head shakes, roll of eyes, look away, kicking the ground and worst of all, ignoring their child after games when they did not play up to their parents standards.
Most parents often have too many unreachable or unreasonable expectations that put way too much pressure on the kids. Politics is another really big issue in youth sports. I have seen so many young athletes not get the attention they deserve because their parents weren’t good friends with the coach, the kids their selves weren’t popular or the coach just has a double standard. These days so many things can happen because of politics, kids want to quit, kids get made fun of, and they could get unfair judgment. From my past experience, I got treated differently because of my dad, my junior year he was the assistant girls freshman basketball coach, and my senior year he was the freshman boys basketball coach at my high school, but everyone said that the only reason I made the team was cause of my dad. Both years that my dad was coaching, yes I did make the team, but I feel I was treated unfair because I didn’t get much playing
time. I think it had something to do with the coach not wanting other parents coming up to him and saying that’s not fair her dad is part of the program or anything along those lines. Your junior and senior years are the years that college’s look at you and decide if they want you.
The summer of my junior year I decided to go to these things called shootouts, they are like show cases for prospective college athletes. After one shoot out , my dad and I got home and had a number of emails from colleges telling me about what they saw in me and if I would like to play for them. Going into my senior year I knew it was going to be rough with my dad now having a head coaching job at my school. Again, same as my junior year, I didn’t play much at all, but when I did I made a difference on the court to try and prove a point to my coach, teammates, and all the parents who thought I was just on the team because of my dad. By the end of my senior year, I had gotten 10 letters varying from D2 and D3 colleges asking me to come play for them, this gave me the biggest boost in my life, the only thing I wanted to do was shove them in the faces of my coaches, teammates, and the other parents. My parents told me that wouldn’t be a good idea, and the funny thing is I am the only one of my senior class on that team that is playing basketball in college. If it wasn’t for my parents always being there and being honest with me, I probably wouldn’t be where I’m at
today. Pressure in youth sports is harmful to kids and parents, be honest with your kids and players and let them decide what is right for them.