Pros And Cons Of Being A Single Mom
The Trials and Tribulations of Being a Single Mom
Vanessa Henry
Everest Online
I was 19 in college majoring in criminal justice. I remember it like it was yesterday. The semester ended, and I was out of school for the summer. It was nice outside, no more snow, so it was time to party. I ended up moving about an hour and half from where I was in college with my boyfriend. What was I thinking? I ended up moving out and met my soon to be son’s father a few months later. Things were going well but then I found out I was pregnant. I took at least four tests because I couldn’t believe it. I was 19, in college, going on my second semester and now I am pregnant. It’s not supposed to go that way. What am I going to do? The father of my child is having mixed feelings because he already has kids and doesn’t want anymore. So I basically already know I am going to be doing this alone. We try and we try to get along for the baby’s sake but it just isn’t working. So we go our separate ways. Now I really know I am going to be doing this alone. I am scared. I have never been in a situation like this before. What was I going to do is all I can ask myself. My father is there for me but I can’t depend on him to do things for me and my child. I have a good support system on my side and they …show more content…
encourage me that I can do it I just have to have faith in myself. So I continue to work up until 3 days before my due date because I know that money will be tight while I am out of work. I have everything that I need for my child now it’s time to wait for him to come. My son is finally here, born March 15, 2007 at 3:18 am. My dad is in the room with me while I deliver but my son’s father is nowhere to be found. I come home on March 18 not knowing what to do with this baby I have now. My father stays for a couple of days to help me out but after that I am left to figure this thing called motherhood out on my own. After about a month I have my sons schedule down pat. Being a mom isn’t that bad after all. I just miss getting sleep. My six weeks are up and it is time to go back to work. My father watched my son for me while I was at work. He lived about a half hour away from me so he would stay at my house during the week and go home on the weekends. After about a month of doing that he decided that if he was going to watch my son he would have to take him home with him during the week until Friday. So for about three months I would only get to see my son on the weekends. I didn’t like that very much. I felt like I was missing out on things my son was beginning to do. So I found a day care close to my house and started him in daycare when he was four months. It was harder on me because I would have to get up earlier every morning to get him to daycare to be to work on time. After a while I became accustomed to it. My sons father started coming around occasionally to see my son, but wasn’t never really much help for me else wise still. I found a new, better paying job because having a baby is not cheap. I participated in the WIC program which paid for my son’s formula every month but it wasn’t enough. I would have to pay out of pocket which was very high so I definitely needed a better paying job. It seemed like my extra spending money after I paid bills was going to formula and diapers. I had to even move to another apartment with lower rent for me to be able to get by. I move when my son is almost one and his father is still in and out of his life. Due to my new job, I have later hours and I have to find another babysitter for my son to go to when daycare closes. I learned that people do not care for your child the same way that you do. My son’s babysitter didn’t pick him from daycare one day. She never called me to let me know she wasn’t going to be able to pick him up or nothing. So I ended up having to leave work 3 hours early to get my son. After that I found a more dependable babysitter who just happened to be his god mother. My son’s father knew my son’s god mother so while I was at work he would stop by and visit my son. My job started to change my hours and made it difficult for my son’s babysitter to have him. So once again I had to change jobs. My dad always told me everything is not always going to be my way but dang I can only handle but so much. I find another job which works with my hours for my son’s daycare but the money isn’t as good. Bills start to pile up and I start to become stressed out because I don’t know how I am going to pay them. After a few months I end up losing my job because business is slow. The economy is getting bad and jobs are now getting hard to find. I have almost two year old child and no job. Diapers are low and I have no idea where I am going to get them from. I have no choice but to go to social services to get help. It hurt my pride to have to go there to get help. I have never been in a situation like this before. I am the type of person who hates having to ask anyone for help. Having to go through all the necessary things to get help has me asking myself is this little bit of money worth it? My son is now two and I still have no job but fortunately I am back in college. I have my son back in daycare, while I am at school, being paid for by the government. This life is hard. I feel like my life should be going better than this. I never imagined it would be this hard to be a single mother. I am now on my second semester of school and my son ends up getting pneumonia. What else could possibly happen? I have to miss a week of school and my professors won’t let me come back even though I have doctor’s notes. They say have missed too many days and too much work. So unfortunately my teachers drop me from my classes. Once again, I’m on the hunt for a job. Like before, there are not any jobs and money is running out again. A few weeks before Christmas, I get a phone call from my aunt in Maryland letting me know that I have an apartment down there waiting for me. So I thing about if that is the move that I want to make. I decide that I will take it and pack up and move to Maryland thinking that things could only get better for me. I have a support system and I know that if I need help I have my family. So things can only get better for me right? Wrong! I move into my apartment and things are going great. We have a snow storm but it’s nothing that I have never seen before. I mean I just came from New York so I am used to it. But little do I know the snow may be my killer. On February 12, 2010, I started my car to warm it up to pick my son up from daycare. While I wait for it to warm up I am smoking a cigarette unaware of the fact that carbon monoxide is pouring into my car. My uncle ends up pulling into the parking lot and I get out of the car and talk to him, which is what I believe, saved my life. After we talk I go to pick my son up from daycare and go to my uncles. I was using the computer and began to have a really bad headache to become very nauseous so I decided it was time to go home. It was a few days before Valentine’s Day so I was making my son’s cards out for his classmates and was becoming really confused. I was writing the kids names in the wrong places and my headaches were worsening. So I went and laid down thinking if I lay down I would feel better. The next morning I woke up to get my son ready for daycare and I was so dizzy and nauseous that I couldn’t get my son dressed. I just collapsed on the bathroom floor. My son had to bring me my phone to call my aunt over to help me. She came to get my son dressed and took me in my room thinking I just had a stomach bug. After my son left, I tried to lie down but ended up starting to throw up. I knew something wasn’t right and wanted to go to the hospital but the family just kept saying I had a bug. After a few hours, I started feeling worse. I called my father and told him what was going on and he told me to go to the hospital. When I got to the hospital, the doctor did blood work and discovered that I had carbon monoxide poisoning and I had to get flown to Baltimore Shock Trauma. The doctors told me that I was lucky because at my levels I should have been dead or brain dead. The next day I ended up getting released and my father and son came to pick me up. Seeing my son after all that I had just been through had me in tears knowing that I was that close to losing my life. I gave my son a big hug and kiss and held him tight. He was only two and is too young to understand what happened to his mommy. I went home for the weekend and my son went with my father so I could get rest. A few days later I ended up back in the hospital again and the doctor admitted me. I was in the hospital for two days but couldn’t take care of myself. My uncle took care of me for about two weeks and I went home again. My father brought my son back to me. I was so happy to see him and he was happy to see his mommy as well. Things started to get better for me gradually. About two months later my father started noticing a change in me saying m words were slurred and he couldn’t understand me. My legs and hands also went numb. I went to see my neurologist and after about a month of tests, I found out I had Multiple Sclerosis. My son is now four and I am 25 and have Multiple Sclerosis.
This is a hard pill to swallow. I have to be strong for my son so I refuse to let this disease take over my life. My son has been through too much in his four years and I know that I am all he has. Things are getting better for me and my son now, even though I am unable to work. I don’t let things like that bother me now because I have life that was almost taken from me. I still struggle but I am fine with that because I know in the long run things will work in my favor. I know God left me on this earth for a reason so I have no choice but to live life to its fullest everyday as a single mom. I wouldn’t trade it for the
world.
Vanessa Henry
Everest Online
I was 19 in college majoring in criminal justice. I remember it like it was yesterday. The semester ended, and I was out of school for the summer. It was nice outside, no more snow, so it was time to party. I ended up moving about an hour and half from where I was in college with my boyfriend. What was I thinking? I ended up moving out and met my soon to be son’s father a few months later. Things were going well but then I found out I was pregnant. I took at least four tests because I couldn’t believe it. I was 19, in college, going on my second semester and now I am pregnant. It’s not supposed to go that way. What am I going to do? The father of my child is having mixed feelings because he already has kids and doesn’t want anymore. So I basically already know I am going to be doing this alone. We try and we try to get along for the baby’s sake but it just isn’t working. So we go our separate ways. Now I really know I am going to be doing this alone. I am scared. I have never been in a situation like this before. What was I going to do is all I can ask myself. My father is there for me but I can’t depend on him to do things for me and my child. I have a good support system on my side and they …show more content…
encourage me that I can do it I just have to have faith in myself. So I continue to work up until 3 days before my due date because I know that money will be tight while I am out of work. I have everything that I need for my child now it’s time to wait for him to come. My son is finally here, born March 15, 2007 at 3:18 am. My dad is in the room with me while I deliver but my son’s father is nowhere to be found. I come home on March 18 not knowing what to do with this baby I have now. My father stays for a couple of days to help me out but after that I am left to figure this thing called motherhood out on my own. After about a month I have my sons schedule down pat. Being a mom isn’t that bad after all. I just miss getting sleep. My six weeks are up and it is time to go back to work. My father watched my son for me while I was at work. He lived about a half hour away from me so he would stay at my house during the week and go home on the weekends. After about a month of doing that he decided that if he was going to watch my son he would have to take him home with him during the week until Friday. So for about three months I would only get to see my son on the weekends. I didn’t like that very much. I felt like I was missing out on things my son was beginning to do. So I found a day care close to my house and started him in daycare when he was four months. It was harder on me because I would have to get up earlier every morning to get him to daycare to be to work on time. After a while I became accustomed to it. My sons father started coming around occasionally to see my son, but wasn’t never really much help for me else wise still. I found a new, better paying job because having a baby is not cheap. I participated in the WIC program which paid for my son’s formula every month but it wasn’t enough. I would have to pay out of pocket which was very high so I definitely needed a better paying job. It seemed like my extra spending money after I paid bills was going to formula and diapers. I had to even move to another apartment with lower rent for me to be able to get by. I move when my son is almost one and his father is still in and out of his life. Due to my new job, I have later hours and I have to find another babysitter for my son to go to when daycare closes. I learned that people do not care for your child the same way that you do. My son’s babysitter didn’t pick him from daycare one day. She never called me to let me know she wasn’t going to be able to pick him up or nothing. So I ended up having to leave work 3 hours early to get my son. After that I found a more dependable babysitter who just happened to be his god mother. My son’s father knew my son’s god mother so while I was at work he would stop by and visit my son. My job started to change my hours and made it difficult for my son’s babysitter to have him. So once again I had to change jobs. My dad always told me everything is not always going to be my way but dang I can only handle but so much. I find another job which works with my hours for my son’s daycare but the money isn’t as good. Bills start to pile up and I start to become stressed out because I don’t know how I am going to pay them. After a few months I end up losing my job because business is slow. The economy is getting bad and jobs are now getting hard to find. I have almost two year old child and no job. Diapers are low and I have no idea where I am going to get them from. I have no choice but to go to social services to get help. It hurt my pride to have to go there to get help. I have never been in a situation like this before. I am the type of person who hates having to ask anyone for help. Having to go through all the necessary things to get help has me asking myself is this little bit of money worth it? My son is now two and I still have no job but fortunately I am back in college. I have my son back in daycare, while I am at school, being paid for by the government. This life is hard. I feel like my life should be going better than this. I never imagined it would be this hard to be a single mother. I am now on my second semester of school and my son ends up getting pneumonia. What else could possibly happen? I have to miss a week of school and my professors won’t let me come back even though I have doctor’s notes. They say have missed too many days and too much work. So unfortunately my teachers drop me from my classes. Once again, I’m on the hunt for a job. Like before, there are not any jobs and money is running out again. A few weeks before Christmas, I get a phone call from my aunt in Maryland letting me know that I have an apartment down there waiting for me. So I thing about if that is the move that I want to make. I decide that I will take it and pack up and move to Maryland thinking that things could only get better for me. I have a support system and I know that if I need help I have my family. So things can only get better for me right? Wrong! I move into my apartment and things are going great. We have a snow storm but it’s nothing that I have never seen before. I mean I just came from New York so I am used to it. But little do I know the snow may be my killer. On February 12, 2010, I started my car to warm it up to pick my son up from daycare. While I wait for it to warm up I am smoking a cigarette unaware of the fact that carbon monoxide is pouring into my car. My uncle ends up pulling into the parking lot and I get out of the car and talk to him, which is what I believe, saved my life. After we talk I go to pick my son up from daycare and go to my uncles. I was using the computer and began to have a really bad headache to become very nauseous so I decided it was time to go home. It was a few days before Valentine’s Day so I was making my son’s cards out for his classmates and was becoming really confused. I was writing the kids names in the wrong places and my headaches were worsening. So I went and laid down thinking if I lay down I would feel better. The next morning I woke up to get my son ready for daycare and I was so dizzy and nauseous that I couldn’t get my son dressed. I just collapsed on the bathroom floor. My son had to bring me my phone to call my aunt over to help me. She came to get my son dressed and took me in my room thinking I just had a stomach bug. After my son left, I tried to lie down but ended up starting to throw up. I knew something wasn’t right and wanted to go to the hospital but the family just kept saying I had a bug. After a few hours, I started feeling worse. I called my father and told him what was going on and he told me to go to the hospital. When I got to the hospital, the doctor did blood work and discovered that I had carbon monoxide poisoning and I had to get flown to Baltimore Shock Trauma. The doctors told me that I was lucky because at my levels I should have been dead or brain dead. The next day I ended up getting released and my father and son came to pick me up. Seeing my son after all that I had just been through had me in tears knowing that I was that close to losing my life. I gave my son a big hug and kiss and held him tight. He was only two and is too young to understand what happened to his mommy. I went home for the weekend and my son went with my father so I could get rest. A few days later I ended up back in the hospital again and the doctor admitted me. I was in the hospital for two days but couldn’t take care of myself. My uncle took care of me for about two weeks and I went home again. My father brought my son back to me. I was so happy to see him and he was happy to see his mommy as well. Things started to get better for me gradually. About two months later my father started noticing a change in me saying m words were slurred and he couldn’t understand me. My legs and hands also went numb. I went to see my neurologist and after about a month of tests, I found out I had Multiple Sclerosis. My son is now four and I am 25 and have Multiple Sclerosis.
This is a hard pill to swallow. I have to be strong for my son so I refuse to let this disease take over my life. My son has been through too much in his four years and I know that I am all he has. Things are getting better for me and my son now, even though I am unable to work. I don’t let things like that bother me now because I have life that was almost taken from me. I still struggle but I am fine with that because I know in the long run things will work in my favor. I know God left me on this earth for a reason so I have no choice but to live life to its fullest everyday as a single mom. I wouldn’t trade it for the
world.