Psychology

In psychology, there are four different styles in parenting (psychology.about.com). In an authoritarian style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. The parenting style that I feel is both more effective and fair to the child is authoritative. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and are willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. Psychologist Diana Baumrind suggests that these parents "monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative." It is a give and take relationship. This means, when the child behaves, they are rewarded. However, when the child misbehaves, they are punished. This type of relationship builds a special friendship between the parent and child. The child learns that they are able to go to their parent when they need to without being afraid of them, therefore, building a sturdy wall of trust. The child also learns, though, that there is a fine line between friendship and parenting, which means that they must also acknowledge their parents with a certain level of respect. This bond that the child develops with their parent throughout their childhood is very important as they get even older. A child is taught to do well, or else there will be consequences. This teaches them as they grow older that self motivation is important. When they were little they did the right thing because they didn’t want to be punished, therefore motivating themselves. Authoritative parents may also reward a child when they meet a certain achievement, or accomplish a specific goal. These rewards also help lead to self motivation as adults, which then leads to success.