She begins to think that winning is everything, which it is for her, for it is the only thing that she thinks validates herself as someone who isn’t a letdown.
Running keeps Squeaky motivated to move forward throughout the tough times in her life. It gives her a way to cope with the burdens she receives at an early age. Whether it is her mother’s disappointment or her duty to take care of her brother, and because of this,”a heart of steel starts to grow”. To her, running is her “safe zone”.
Every time, just before I take off in a race, I always feel like I’m in a dream, the kind of dream you have when you’re sick with fever and feel all hot and weightless. I dream I’m flying over a sandy beach in the early morning sun, kissing the leaves of the trees as I fly by. [...] But once I spread my fingers in the dirt and crouch over the Get on Your Mark, the dream goes and I am solid again and am telling myself, Squeaky you must win, you must win, you are the fastest thing in the world, you can even beat your father up Amsterdam if you really