Revenge
Revenge?
• Whenever someone does something that hurts us we have a natural inclination to hurt them back.
• We know this is wrong and we are taught that forgiveness is the path we should follow but there’s no denying the satisfaction and the warm feeling we feel inside that comes with revenge.
The Desire
• As a leader, succumbing to the desire for revenge is dangerous not only to your standing as a
Leader but also to your career.
• So how should a Leader react when hurt by someone? • A common answer is to automatically forgive anyone who upsets you.
•While this is a noble response I feel this does not give you the satisfaction you need in order to carry on with your life.
•What tends to happen is that there’s a little part of you deep inside that still has issues.
•Like an animal that hasn’t been fed, it gets louder and louder wanting to be heard until the sound gets so loud that it raises its ugly head in the form of behaviour that is not very leader-like.
•Things like:
You give the offender the cold shoulder: “I don’t care I will just never talk to that person ever again”.
•You are congenial to that person when face to face but when talking to others you criticise them.
•You explode in anger in the midst of a conversation or meeting.
•The person who has upset you automatically gets more severe action taken against them than would have normally been taken. •Sounds familiar?
• Whenever you are hurt the beast inside you awakens and once it is awake it needs to be fed and the only food it wants is revenge.
• The key is to tame this beast and to use it as a driver to achieve what you want to achieve.
Step one: Control your reactions.
•“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master. He can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him” – Epictetus
•The beast awakens only because you have allowed it to awaken.
•When someone hurts you it’s because you have allowed yourself to feel hurt.
• If someone says something nasty either to you
• Whenever someone does something that hurts us we have a natural inclination to hurt them back.
• We know this is wrong and we are taught that forgiveness is the path we should follow but there’s no denying the satisfaction and the warm feeling we feel inside that comes with revenge.
The Desire
• As a leader, succumbing to the desire for revenge is dangerous not only to your standing as a
Leader but also to your career.
• So how should a Leader react when hurt by someone? • A common answer is to automatically forgive anyone who upsets you.
•While this is a noble response I feel this does not give you the satisfaction you need in order to carry on with your life.
•What tends to happen is that there’s a little part of you deep inside that still has issues.
•Like an animal that hasn’t been fed, it gets louder and louder wanting to be heard until the sound gets so loud that it raises its ugly head in the form of behaviour that is not very leader-like.
•Things like:
You give the offender the cold shoulder: “I don’t care I will just never talk to that person ever again”.
•You are congenial to that person when face to face but when talking to others you criticise them.
•You explode in anger in the midst of a conversation or meeting.
•The person who has upset you automatically gets more severe action taken against them than would have normally been taken. •Sounds familiar?
• Whenever you are hurt the beast inside you awakens and once it is awake it needs to be fed and the only food it wants is revenge.
• The key is to tame this beast and to use it as a driver to achieve what you want to achieve.
Step one: Control your reactions.
•“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master. He can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him” – Epictetus
•The beast awakens only because you have allowed it to awaken.
•When someone hurts you it’s because you have allowed yourself to feel hurt.
• If someone says something nasty either to you