Review Of Giovanni's Room By James Baldwin

Cast Your Fate to the Wind
As a junior in high school, I sometimes have difficulty comprehending the texts I get assigned from various classes. Although my homework load may not be overwhelming, the spectrum of subjects interact with each other instead of staying in their own place. As my daily life entangles itself, my train of thought crosses dimensions rather than just a railroad. I think David could agree with this. I read his thoughts as dense, repetitive, and scrambled. James Baldwin, the author of Giovanni’s Room, portrays the glimpse of events that we see from David’s life in an meta-physical manner. The settings of each scene do not leave an impact on me like they should when I close my book for the night. Instead, I hold on to the intense analyzation of everything David shares with his audience. Despite my physical and emotional priorities, his thoughts stay in my head and I notice myself overthinking his consciousness like I do with my own. Although there are times where I find his extreme insight a bit overwhelming, I have discovered haunting similarities between the way David and I think. And because of the way we think, I worry that I will one
day find myself in a familiar position as completely disheveled.
An interesting yet endless internal conflict quietly develops through David’s motionless rambles.
Rather than the text on the pages, the theme of emotional isolation that Baldwin exhales fills my nose--whether I like it or not. David lacks the ability of decision making because of his infatuation with the same problems and how he lets them eat him alive. However, this absence of an internal solution does not have the right to reflect directly on David’s character. His analysis of every subtle action only proves that he sees the world in a way most people don’t pay attention to. I wouldn’t say indecision makes David an unmotivated person because he has trouble reaching conclusions; I think this just means he’s nervous. This nervous characteristic that David eludes through analysis is the root of our
similarities.
Like David, I sometimes sit in my boat and let the wind steer me. I don't even put up a sail. There are times where I think about turning the sail and it pulling me in the right direction, but as I look up, finding nothing controlling the wind, I realize that over thinking something does not solve or get rid of any of my problems. There are times where I subconsciously expect something to happen because I think about it so much. I have dreams of becoming a recording artist. Even writing that on paper makes me laugh, because I’ve imagined a musical career for myself so constantly that I practically have one in my head. Like David, I analyze scenarios that are milestones away, without using any intuition or logic that would introduce these thoughts into the real world.
Throughout the novel, David longs for a resolution to his complicated needs. He finds true love in men but he must love masculinity so much that he doesn’t want the world to see him lack it himself. David’s analysis of society’s perspectives impact him too greatly and skews his own perceptions of himself as he rocks back and forth from the true love he feels with Giovanni to the love that Hella feels with/for him. I get affected by a similar environmental influence. I remember being told I was confident for the first time this past summer. I outwardly questioned her compliment, because my surroundings usually dictate my actions to a point where I feel alienated by my conscience. I often act a certain way around certain people to gain respect or alliance. Approval? Acceptance? If my personality develops based on the new slang then does that make me predictable? Am I my own stereotype? David follows his stereotypes, too. As his relationship with Giovanni begins to strengthen, they find themselves developing a dimensional connection. David’s distraction impacts his behavior as he notes “I invented in myself a kind of pleasure in playing the housewife after Giovanni had gone to work… But I am not a housewife—men never can be housewives,” (Baldwin 88). Although he exhibits natural reactions during his happiest and truest moments, David still designs his desired characteristics in his head. His anxious interpretation of the world around him points to his tendency to brood over the standards he feels threatened by. Over time, the bond between David and Giovanni starts manipulating David’s perspective of his surroundings, more so manipulating his fears of his perception in the public eye. This explains David’s paradoxical behavior. In the novel, he often thinks about very heavy subjects while outwardly just fitting in. I feel disheartened at times as my mind sees this cycle from a removed perspective.
My “designed” behaviors isolate my truest self, because I often feel most comfortable in my head. Although excessive headspace plays into my hyper awareness, it draws me in by making me feel comfort within my inner inner self. David also enjoys keeping his actual feelings in his head. But David also likes lying. As Hella and David argue in the bedroom, David reveals to the audience, “Perhaps I can get out of it without having to tell her anything,” (Baldwin 123). It, referring to the dispute, shows that David does anything to stay on smooth waters, even if that calls for acts of dishonesty. Through the lies he feeds the people near him, I infer that David feels more secure dealing with internal conflicts rather than external ones. While both of these carry a heavy weight, internal struggles invade his living space longer than a finite argument. Therefore, an abnormal familiarity develops between the inner struggle and his ideas, and David feels a better sense of control while dealing with more stable conflicts. I also might find myself drifting aimlessly while I’m constantly preparing for a storm on the inside. Sometimes I long for conclusions, but most of the time I just want to know what will happen instead of actually experiencing it. Although this inconvenience affects me on a significantly smaller scale, I still lack complete satisfaction with the extent of my knowledge. David experiences more detrimental effects through his desire to comprehend every minor detail. One day, I hope for David’s comfort in himself to grow and help guide him through his maze of thoughts. I may have not yet reached a complete level of acceptance with who I am internally and externally, and I may still over think the majority of scenarios I conjure up, but viewing David’s life in such an existential light has given me a better understanding of who I am today and who I have to ability to become. As our similarities began to move towards the foreground, I have been rewarded with a significant internal conclusion. Never become David.