Richard Parker Monologue
Forgive me, I really didn’t want to kill you, but it was either you or me, you live, or I live, one of us must leave. Sir, it did not have to have to be so, if it wasn’t for your actions, we could have survived together. Did you know the fear and loneliness I had to endure? Do you know the feeling of losing a loved one, especially when you witness it with your clear eye, if you even had a clear sight? My mother was murdered because of the same reason why you tried to stab me, you were greedy, so was the cook who deserved no love from God, oh no, the hyena! With that filthy knife you tried to stick up my throat, you perfectly resemble him, him who KILLED My Mother! For what is broken in your brain? What makes you think that cannibalism is acceptable?!
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Even if I had no food, I would rather leave my fate to the hands of god to either finally take me from this world or spread love and supply me with food from the vast ocean, no matter what, I would not have eaten a human being, especially one who gave me company in my dying moments. I thought that I have met my end after the storm, the tiger inside me that I have been trying to take care of, went blind, and that wasn’t the worst. I was next, I saw it coming, but the transition of having full vision to absolute pitch black has battered me, the fact that I could not see anymore, was a horrifying thing just to think of, don’t even mention opening my eyes to confirm that fact. All hope in my soul was given up, I prepared for my death, I was ready for God to take me home, for he is love and whom I love. The only disappointment I was left with, is Richard Parker, he was a lively example of my failure, my failure in taking care of an animal inside of me, my failure in being a master of my instinct, my failure in keeping my something connected to my family alive. I prepared for my death very calmly, to ensure my death was as painless as possible, I drank as much water as I could from my water containers, which weren’t much. Suddenly, for one second, I thought I could see everything clearly ahead of me, even though I couldn’t actually see at all.
This reflective silence and peace remained within me for a while, as I sat there, reminiscing about my life, awaiting my breath to leave my body. The sound ‘Is someone there’ broke the silence. I was overjoyed at the existence of another voice like me. I thought it was another person, which then I figured out it was Richard Parker. I made a shocking discovery that this seemingly well trained tiger who has been raised in the zoo since it was cub shared one same trait as the murderous cook, he killed a man and a women once in his life. How could he? I was so proud to explain why I am human, and he, was animal, simply because of what he has done. My live in me disappeared again... until when I heard ‘only an echo, I fear’. My silence, my wish to die, my loneliness… All was broken. My spark to live just suddenly reignited again, and I immediately wondered who the voice’s owner is. Discovering the voice owner, and that was you. My brother, my only true company on my long voyage whom determines my survival. We had good talks about food, my friend, your voice was truly a branch floating in the water which I held on to in order to stay
alive. Sadly, the branch turned back at me and sliced me instead, just like you did. I trusted you, I did not expect you to kill me in order to fulfil your dirty lies that you have no food and that you are starving. You had tons of food! However, I did not expect myself to act so fast, it seemed to be the same instinct inside me that was triggered when I stabbed the cook as the instinct that operated my hands to cut your throats this time, my brother. But now.... It feels like I was like an animal, I have released my animal self subconsciously... I have possibly just done the exact thing I shouldn’t have, I killed 2 people, 2, and I still shamefully promote the importance of love. What use is it saying all this after it has already been done? I pray that may all who deserve peace be granted peace, Amen.”
Even if I had no food, I would rather leave my fate to the hands of god to either finally take me from this world or spread love and supply me with food from the vast ocean, no matter what, I would not have eaten a human being, especially one who gave me company in my dying moments. I thought that I have met my end after the storm, the tiger inside me that I have been trying to take care of, went blind, and that wasn’t the worst. I was next, I saw it coming, but the transition of having full vision to absolute pitch black has battered me, the fact that I could not see anymore, was a horrifying thing just to think of, don’t even mention opening my eyes to confirm that fact. All hope in my soul was given up, I prepared for my death, I was ready for God to take me home, for he is love and whom I love. The only disappointment I was left with, is Richard Parker, he was a lively example of my failure, my failure in taking care of an animal inside of me, my failure in being a master of my instinct, my failure in keeping my something connected to my family alive. I prepared for my death very calmly, to ensure my death was as painless as possible, I drank as much water as I could from my water containers, which weren’t much. Suddenly, for one second, I thought I could see everything clearly ahead of me, even though I couldn’t actually see at all.
This reflective silence and peace remained within me for a while, as I sat there, reminiscing about my life, awaiting my breath to leave my body. The sound ‘Is someone there’ broke the silence. I was overjoyed at the existence of another voice like me. I thought it was another person, which then I figured out it was Richard Parker. I made a shocking discovery that this seemingly well trained tiger who has been raised in the zoo since it was cub shared one same trait as the murderous cook, he killed a man and a women once in his life. How could he? I was so proud to explain why I am human, and he, was animal, simply because of what he has done. My live in me disappeared again... until when I heard ‘only an echo, I fear’. My silence, my wish to die, my loneliness… All was broken. My spark to live just suddenly reignited again, and I immediately wondered who the voice’s owner is. Discovering the voice owner, and that was you. My brother, my only true company on my long voyage whom determines my survival. We had good talks about food, my friend, your voice was truly a branch floating in the water which I held on to in order to stay
alive. Sadly, the branch turned back at me and sliced me instead, just like you did. I trusted you, I did not expect you to kill me in order to fulfil your dirty lies that you have no food and that you are starving. You had tons of food! However, I did not expect myself to act so fast, it seemed to be the same instinct inside me that was triggered when I stabbed the cook as the instinct that operated my hands to cut your throats this time, my brother. But now.... It feels like I was like an animal, I have released my animal self subconsciously... I have possibly just done the exact thing I shouldn’t have, I killed 2 people, 2, and I still shamefully promote the importance of love. What use is it saying all this after it has already been done? I pray that may all who deserve peace be granted peace, Amen.”