San Michael Monologue
Introductions are quite futile to me, and I really don’t care for the whole ‘It was a cool summer’s night’ business.
Do you not know me? Nay, you know me very, very well. To deny it would be to lie to me. Don’t lie to me.
In fact, I can guarantee I’ve shrouded your thoughts with an enticing cloud on multiple occasions. Want to bet your life on it? I can promise you- I always win bets. You’ve perhaps smelt my cologne, oh, more sweet and floral than the fragrances of Arabia. Yes, and you’ve heard me. That dull throbbing you feel in your ears, as if a savage tribe were beating their bongos deep in your ear canal? Me, me, me. What an infamous beast I am.
I’m your worst fear. I’m your inevitable destiny. Why, not even the world’s finest men could …show more content…
Half-witted imbeciles you lot are. Oh yes, a band around your waist in a death machine will salvage you! Oh yes, Vitamin E tablets will preserve your youth! Oh yes, running! Running! What buffoonery! And praying! Hail Mary, save our souls! I just shriek in laughter at the sheer oblivion of it! When will you ever learn that I’m the Alpha and Omega. The First and Last. The Beginning and the End. Nothing that you could ever conjure will delay my tender embrace.
It terribly bores my brain, this job does. As much as it is an amusing pastime, it’s utterly exhausting plucking souls from the garden of Life with my trusty scythe and adding them to my marvelous bouquet. It’s those vexing souls who especially prolong my exhaustion, those that do not give in. You wouldn’t believe how draining it is to send those rowdy ravens down there, transport poltergeists to their assigned soul, and to place nooses and the like in plain sight of the client. All just to prompt them to accept their imminent …show more content…
I once encountered a pastor who persistently resisted from kicking the damned bucket. Oh, you should’ve seen the way the fossil of a fellow fought on! Praying, and praying, and praying some more. I tell you, I just couldn’t stop myself from howling at the absurdity. Sprinkling his holy water all over the place as if it would grow holy crops. Not even my prized demons could survive with the mounds of Bibles and crucifixes that festered in that house. I decided that I could simulate an apparition of Saint Joshua, who lead the Israelites across the River Jordan to the Promised Land. That would surely inspire the old man to cross the Jordan himself and venture into my divine realm of peace. I was triumphant. Aren’t I the most clever and cunning entity to ever prevail? Oh, with what precision and foresight I conducted that apparition upon the pastor. True intellect!
But, of course, the old man extracted the completely wrong purpose! On top of being conditioned by a nonsensical force, he was as dense-headed as they came! He was convinced he was lacking in faith of God’s covenant, as a cause for the apparition, and prayed even more. Every single day. Every single breath he released simmered and churned a stew of rage inside of me. Every ‘O God’ and ‘Lead us not into temptation’ chant parched me with an unsatisfied thirst for his
Do you not know me? Nay, you know me very, very well. To deny it would be to lie to me. Don’t lie to me.
In fact, I can guarantee I’ve shrouded your thoughts with an enticing cloud on multiple occasions. Want to bet your life on it? I can promise you- I always win bets. You’ve perhaps smelt my cologne, oh, more sweet and floral than the fragrances of Arabia. Yes, and you’ve heard me. That dull throbbing you feel in your ears, as if a savage tribe were beating their bongos deep in your ear canal? Me, me, me. What an infamous beast I am.
I’m your worst fear. I’m your inevitable destiny. Why, not even the world’s finest men could …show more content…
Half-witted imbeciles you lot are. Oh yes, a band around your waist in a death machine will salvage you! Oh yes, Vitamin E tablets will preserve your youth! Oh yes, running! Running! What buffoonery! And praying! Hail Mary, save our souls! I just shriek in laughter at the sheer oblivion of it! When will you ever learn that I’m the Alpha and Omega. The First and Last. The Beginning and the End. Nothing that you could ever conjure will delay my tender embrace.
It terribly bores my brain, this job does. As much as it is an amusing pastime, it’s utterly exhausting plucking souls from the garden of Life with my trusty scythe and adding them to my marvelous bouquet. It’s those vexing souls who especially prolong my exhaustion, those that do not give in. You wouldn’t believe how draining it is to send those rowdy ravens down there, transport poltergeists to their assigned soul, and to place nooses and the like in plain sight of the client. All just to prompt them to accept their imminent …show more content…
I once encountered a pastor who persistently resisted from kicking the damned bucket. Oh, you should’ve seen the way the fossil of a fellow fought on! Praying, and praying, and praying some more. I tell you, I just couldn’t stop myself from howling at the absurdity. Sprinkling his holy water all over the place as if it would grow holy crops. Not even my prized demons could survive with the mounds of Bibles and crucifixes that festered in that house. I decided that I could simulate an apparition of Saint Joshua, who lead the Israelites across the River Jordan to the Promised Land. That would surely inspire the old man to cross the Jordan himself and venture into my divine realm of peace. I was triumphant. Aren’t I the most clever and cunning entity to ever prevail? Oh, with what precision and foresight I conducted that apparition upon the pastor. True intellect!
But, of course, the old man extracted the completely wrong purpose! On top of being conditioned by a nonsensical force, he was as dense-headed as they came! He was convinced he was lacking in faith of God’s covenant, as a cause for the apparition, and prayed even more. Every single day. Every single breath he released simmered and churned a stew of rage inside of me. Every ‘O God’ and ‘Lead us not into temptation’ chant parched me with an unsatisfied thirst for his