Satire Essay
Ella Brooks Mrs. English AP Lang. 2/26/2013 Homeless Trash
(A) Americans, most of the world believes we are rich, plentifully fat, stuck up people, who waste food and resources, and our only enjoyment in life is watching reality TV shows such as Honey Boo Boo and Extreme Couponing. Not all of America is like that, just a large amount of it. The truth is thousands of Americans are starving and are without a home. In the rancor winter nights they are forced to subsist on dead bugs they find and dying grass, and stand on a street corner where they hope someone gives them a free burger coupon. At night they sleep on the side of roads, on peoples doorsteps, under people’s porches, and worst of all on street corners. Those cold forlorn nights transform people, those poor savage souls, like dementors but with a beating heart. Being quite antisocial creatures they stand there with open hands and usually a cardboard sign that says “anything helps, God bless”. This is very daunting! When these creatures get roughty they even walk up and down beside stopped cars waiting to turn. Trying not to make eye contact as they creep up past your window your nonchalantly go to press the door lock button, when BAM you lock eyes and a piece of soul just got sucked out of you…’God bless’. We will never become inure to this feeling.
(B) You may ask yourself how do we help these poor creatures?! The answer is simple… dumps. We will send them to dumps where they can salvage cardboard boxes! This will be a magnificent mansion to them! They can construct the houses of their most evocative dreams, and we will be the heroes that provide them the tools. This is a fantastic solution to this terrible epidemic by helping out these poor little guys.
(C) They will no longer be inexpedient, everybody will feel safe. Crime will go down because they will not be fighting each other over the penny that a 40 year old mother of Mexican descent accidently dropped. During the course of one
(A) Americans, most of the world believes we are rich, plentifully fat, stuck up people, who waste food and resources, and our only enjoyment in life is watching reality TV shows such as Honey Boo Boo and Extreme Couponing. Not all of America is like that, just a large amount of it. The truth is thousands of Americans are starving and are without a home. In the rancor winter nights they are forced to subsist on dead bugs they find and dying grass, and stand on a street corner where they hope someone gives them a free burger coupon. At night they sleep on the side of roads, on peoples doorsteps, under people’s porches, and worst of all on street corners. Those cold forlorn nights transform people, those poor savage souls, like dementors but with a beating heart. Being quite antisocial creatures they stand there with open hands and usually a cardboard sign that says “anything helps, God bless”. This is very daunting! When these creatures get roughty they even walk up and down beside stopped cars waiting to turn. Trying not to make eye contact as they creep up past your window your nonchalantly go to press the door lock button, when BAM you lock eyes and a piece of soul just got sucked out of you…’God bless’. We will never become inure to this feeling.
(B) You may ask yourself how do we help these poor creatures?! The answer is simple… dumps. We will send them to dumps where they can salvage cardboard boxes! This will be a magnificent mansion to them! They can construct the houses of their most evocative dreams, and we will be the heroes that provide them the tools. This is a fantastic solution to this terrible epidemic by helping out these poor little guys.
(C) They will no longer be inexpedient, everybody will feel safe. Crime will go down because they will not be fighting each other over the penny that a 40 year old mother of Mexican descent accidently dropped. During the course of one