Satirical Poem
University
Applying to college is a slow and painful process.
Because it's really hard to get accepted, unless
You are better qualified than thousands, and their thousands.
You know; the bank accounts in the Caribbean islands.
I had to study really, really hard for the SAT's,
In order to even stand a shot into any of the ivy leagues.
And luckily,
My family,
Can donate a library,
Or instead of Columbia University,
I'd be off to Albany.
There are whole bunch of these so-called admission committees,
Who skim through your extracurricular activities,
Because that's the only way you might be able to get in with those B's.
Although the wait is lengthy, don't worry, because it really is fair,
You see, because if you're a minority, deny you, they wouldn't dare.
If the letter says "Sorry, but we can not accept you into the graduating class of 2005"
You'll survive!
Because you can still resort to the U.S News and World report,
And look at the next twenty-five schools for comfort.
Worst comes to worst there's a neat little trick,
All you have to do is be born holding a lacrosse stick.
Or if you really want to pull a rabbit out of a hat,
Try complementing that with a baseball bat,
Perhaps even a wrestling mat,
And you'll get in, just like that!
And most importantly you must decide
West coast or East coast and how long is the ride?
But it all pays off at the end, with a job at Price Waterhouse Cooper or Goldman Sachs,
So that at the 10 year high school reunion you'll be getting the last laughs.
What's really amazing though is that with all these great schools this country has to offer
It's amazing that so many kids are still hanging out, smoking on the corner.
Corrupting their minds with drugs and whores
While all their spare time should be spent improving their scores.
Taking test after test after test after test after test,
Making sure their parents standards are met, and of course kept
Forever and ever,
Until one day you too will grow up
Applying to college is a slow and painful process.
Because it's really hard to get accepted, unless
You are better qualified than thousands, and their thousands.
You know; the bank accounts in the Caribbean islands.
I had to study really, really hard for the SAT's,
In order to even stand a shot into any of the ivy leagues.
And luckily,
My family,
Can donate a library,
Or instead of Columbia University,
I'd be off to Albany.
There are whole bunch of these so-called admission committees,
Who skim through your extracurricular activities,
Because that's the only way you might be able to get in with those B's.
Although the wait is lengthy, don't worry, because it really is fair,
You see, because if you're a minority, deny you, they wouldn't dare.
If the letter says "Sorry, but we can not accept you into the graduating class of 2005"
You'll survive!
Because you can still resort to the U.S News and World report,
And look at the next twenty-five schools for comfort.
Worst comes to worst there's a neat little trick,
All you have to do is be born holding a lacrosse stick.
Or if you really want to pull a rabbit out of a hat,
Try complementing that with a baseball bat,
Perhaps even a wrestling mat,
And you'll get in, just like that!
And most importantly you must decide
West coast or East coast and how long is the ride?
But it all pays off at the end, with a job at Price Waterhouse Cooper or Goldman Sachs,
So that at the 10 year high school reunion you'll be getting the last laughs.
What's really amazing though is that with all these great schools this country has to offer
It's amazing that so many kids are still hanging out, smoking on the corner.
Corrupting their minds with drugs and whores
While all their spare time should be spent improving their scores.
Taking test after test after test after test after test,
Making sure their parents standards are met, and of course kept
Forever and ever,
Until one day you too will grow up