Scout's Monologue

My nose was nearly hafa' foot in the ground after I failed to scurry away from Scout Finch in the schoolyard. Scouts hand plowed me into the soil with as much force as a truck. At least itad' felt like that at the time.
"Stop it Scout, c'mon Scout, let 'em go."
The voice sounded like one of my classmates but I couldn't make it out as it trailed away with the wind. It came again but louder this time,
"Your bigger'n he is." The voice exclaimed louder this time.
I couldn't tell what Scout was sayin' back to that but knew it was sumtin' bout that lunch argument. The lunch confusion I should state as I aint do nuthin wrong. The pressure eased from my skull as I felt Scouts hand ease off my head. I locked my arms from the ground and pushed myself
up to an upright position. I hands were clenched in fists of rage as I expected Scout to fight me. I was really hoping that she would not go after me because I would have stood not chance. She stomped at me but Jem, his older brother stuck his arm out to protect me. His hands eased as I knew nothing was going to outburst from then on. I cleaned the dirt out of by nose and my bloodshed eyes and started to play with my overalls. I was thinking to myself why Scout went after me and tackled me into the dirt. I mean I did not do anything wrong, I just could not afford lunch and somehow that pushed her buttons. I got over it quick and a conversation arose between the three of us. I was expecting them to move on and leave me to my being, but as I stood there, Jem exclaimed,
“Come on home for dinner with us, Walter.”
I didn’t know what to respond with at first but before a peep came out of my mouth I was cut off with Jem sayin’
“Our daddy’s a friend of your daddy’s. Scout here, she’s crazy- she won’t jump on you anymore.”
“I wouldn’t be too certain of that” she said scornfully.
I knew that it was just a joke because she had a bit of a grin in her face but she sure was mad at me so I didn’t know for sure she was playin’. I knew, bein’ a Cunningham, I could not just pass up a home cooked hot meal for no charge so I shouted,
“Hey, I’m comin!”
As we are walkin home in the hot Alabama heat, Jem made a comment about how the Radley place was hain’t and he asked me if I had known about it. I recalled a time when the man pizzened some pecans and I said,
“Almost died first year I come to school and et them pecans – folks say he pizened ‘em and put ‘em over the school side of the fence.”
The thought was not reckoned with much so we just continued to walk on back to the house. The house was a once level ranch, nuthin to be ashamed but nuthin I aint ever seen before. I walked into the front door with Scout and Jem and I was greeted by Atticus Finch, the pops of the house. My pops hadn’t raised a disrespectful child so I greeted him with nothing but a handshake with eye contact as I was taught. We started talking about the crops growin in my land being my home.
“Crops doin just find sir.
Could be better though b’cause the Great Depression hit us hard. You know that, Right?”
“Certainly do Walter, we got hit badly too. Southeastern part of this here country and certainly in Alabama got knocked back quite badly. I’m lucky to still have a job due to the employment rate. That rate dropped down to the equator and in this state, this poor state, I’m surprised it’s still running.” We spoke a bit more to break the ice but then we got ready for supper. Scout got into her blue dress with a flower on it which was typical kind dress for a girl to wear to dinner at her age. Jem got into some trousers with a dark shirt and suspenders. I looked down and saw my baby blue overalls hanging over my shoulders with rips in them. I ignored it because I knew Atticus would know better than to be disappointed with me. The negro maid Calpurnia brought out a meal full of red meat, a baked potato, vegetables, and some biscuits. I hadn’t eaten anything since the scraps my pops put together for me last night so I was ready to dig in. The room was surrounded by blue walls and dimed lights. There were paintings of abstract art in the room and photos of famous singers and writers. I excused myself from the table to at least wash my hands before
dinner. “Where to the restroom sir.” I exclaimed. “Down the hall, near the kitchen, it will be on your right.” Atticus explained “And you don’t mind if I throw on some tunes.” He followed with. “Not at all sir. I’d actually prefer some” I answered with Great! I will spin some Sinatra right now on the radio.” As I got up to go to the bathroom, I noticed that the kitchen was full of vegetables and snacks that I could really use in this hard time. I sure didn’t want to get caught because I would lose my reputation in this town and I wouldn’t be invited to this household for a nice supper ever again. I made the decision that I would go the bathroom and make my decision there if I were to steal or not. As I am washing my hands I look in the mirror to a dirty, young boy with raggedy old overalls on and his ribs showing through his shirt. I say to myself that I cannot live like this no more and that I need to improve my wellbeing and my physical appearance, so I thought of a plan. I knew that I could not sneak too much food or else it would be obvious in my overalls on I decided that I would take a few items to hold me over and maybe they would invite me back so I could restock then. As I snuck into the kitchen, I noticed some leftover biscuits from supper so I took three and stuffed them into my overall pocket. As I am just about to tip-toe back into the dining room, I noticed the maid Calpurnia standing in the doorway. “Ah.eh.ah… I can explain.” I said with my heart in my stomach. I saw the facial expression on her face and I thought it would be fulla’ rage or anger but it was not. She walked over and softly spoke saying,
“You have no explaining to do sweetheart. I knew from the minute you walked in with your clothes and appearance that you was a strugglin boy. I noticed this but I did not mind one bit. You see, everyone in this world has something to worry about and you may think of a few that I have. Alabama in one of the most cruel states in America and I have to deal with racism every day. I have ancestors that were slaves and siblings that feel the pain I feel every day. Now if you need a few biscuits to feed hunger, I don’t see why that would be a fuss. Now let me go and get you a bag for those.” I was shocked and I could barely move. I did not know what to respond to that because it caught me so off-guard. I handed her the biscuits and offered to put them back but she insisted I take them. I took the bag and threw it in my overalls. At the dinner table, I sat in silence finishing up my meal. As I left I said thank you to everyone and left to make my way home but before I left, I saw Calpurnia with a grin out of the corner of my eye, waving bye to me and I waved back. I never thought, through what she has gone through, she would actually help a white boy like me. It made me think that this country has to take a deeper look into the eyes of those around them.