Secure Attachment In Children

secure relationships give children a platform to relate positively with others. Developmental psychologists have also suggested that secure attachment does not necessarily have to be perfect since attachment is not exactly a destiny. Explaining the phenomenon, (Immordino-Yang & Damasio, 2011) noted that the human brain is flexible throughout the course of life and a child’s relationship with the parents can and often changes. Through studies, (Immordino-Yang & Damasio, 2011) showed that if parents communicate with children for not less than 35 percent of their time in infancy, they can provide sufficient secure relationship. However, there is reason for concern as many working parents, especially in urban areas, barely afford the minimum 35
In the absence of such relationships, a considerable amount of developmental energy is used wastefully in the search for security and stability. Generally, children brought up without secure attachment are fearful and typically less enthusiastic to seek new experiences or learn from them (Siegel, 2012). On the contrary, children who are strongly attached to their parents or caregivers are aware that they have dependable people to listen to them and are, consequently, more adventurous and keen to seek out new experiences. Cleveland, Quas and Lyon (2016) added the concept of observational psychology to the opinion by Siegel (2012). They established that children who are strongly attached to the caregivers or parents have some of their immediate needs satisfied and accounted for, which means they have sufficient time to observe and interact with their environments, thus facilitating their development. Therefore, the parents’ role as caregivers must expand over the course of time in order to meet the attached children’s security. Initially, the role must be attached to the children’s formative years and then constantly provide security and support. As the children grow, that role must remain available because the children will require periodic assistance as they venture into the
They include low self-esteem, lack of self-control, apathy, depression, learning difficulties, hopelessness, negativity and clingy behavior (Daddis, 2010). Parents must be made aware that infants must be provided with a secure base through which they will grow resilience to stress, explore the world and develop meaningful relations first with themselves and then other people in their lives (Malekpour, 2010). Therefore, there must a primary adult in an infant’s life who will provide sensitive care by perceiving their needs, making sense of them and responding to them meaningfully. When parents learn that attachment is an innate system designed to ensure safety and survival for children, they will align their own internal states with those of the children and communicate the alignment in a manner understood by the children (Wood, Lee & Lipper, 2010). The essence of attachment in such alignment is that the communication is not necessarily verbal but in a way that establishes a relationship of trust that the children understand to mean they are not only known but respected. Interactive communication between children and parents can be achieved through body movement, eye contact, posture, tone of voice and facial expression. For example, as explained by Schore (2010), when a child cries or smiles, the parent shows concern for the crying or smiling by