Sexual Ethics
The value of a code of sexual ethics is one that is extremely important to hold close to ones mind and soul. Human sexuality is a broad topic in society and everyone has different views on what is important to them as individuals. My view of human sexuality has been shaped with many influences. Growing up, my Mother always taught me to be comfortable with my sexuality, and I watched my older siblings show the same confidence that my Mother was teaching me. She taught me to respect others and myself equally, no matter what label of sexuality that they hold. Basically; “Treat others how you want to be treated”. I hope to teach my children in the same effective way that my Mother taught my siblings and I. I feel as though having this code of sexual
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ethics will act as a backbone to the teachings of human sexuality for my children and the next generation. I plan for them to follow this code faithfully, as I will continue to do so throughout the remaining course of my life.
CODE
To my Children; I have put together a code of sexual ethics that will help instruct and guide you in the right direction throughout the course of your lives. “Part of discovering yourself sexually usually involves developing your personal set of morals and values as they relate to sexual issues”(Hock, 6). This code of sexual ethics should not be viewed soley as disciplinary, the purpose is to provide guidance throughout the course of your lives. The first principle that is essential to your sexual health and well-being is to always use protection. This is important because
Be faithful to your partner
Wait until you are ready, do not let anyone pressure you/don’t take advantage
Make sure it’s the right person to share the experience with
“Most people agree that parents are the most appropriate source of [sexual] knowledge” (Hock, 15).
THE PAST
My parents have taught me to always be respectful to women. I would never force myself on any woman. They taught me to practice respect with all people, and not to judge others based on their sexuality, even if they may be different from me. I was also taught to never hold back my feelings, and to follow my heart. Yes, in some situations throughout my life, this has lead to heart break. However, in others, it has brought me to experiencing the most amazing feeling in the world; love. I have been known to wear my heart on my sleeve, however, this put forth both benefits and harms on my feelings throughout my life. Sex on the other hand, has always been a bit more personal. My parents did not exclusively teach me about sex. They taught me about love and relationships in general. Although, the topic of sex did arise, it was never the main focus of their teachings. My mother and I have a very comfortable relationship, we are usually able to talk about anything. She has taught me almost everything I need to know about how to make relationships work; along with the respectful ways to treat the woman I love. We did not start having these discussions until I was in high school. I wish that we would have talked about sexual values and behaviors while I was in middle school because that is when I started seriously liking girls. It all started at a pretty young age. I was always able to speak through my heart, even though I tend to be extremely shy. When it comes to feelings of my heart, I need to let it out.
My mom and my peers have always been helpful to me in developing my awareness and understanding about my sexuality.
I have never struggled with my sexuality personally, however, I have always cared greatly about the way I look. Some people call me “metro sexual”. This all started when I was very young. Because I wore nice clothes, and did my hair everyday, some people would mistake me for homosexual. This did not bother me though because I have always been comfortable with my sexuality because I know that I am not homosexual. I just like to look good, which in turn helps me feel good about myself. On the other hand, I think that the media may have played an unhelpful part in raising awareness and understanding about sexuality. Although some programs out there do a great job of explaining these concepts, most of the ones that I was exposed to, did not. Communication about sexuality is definitely welcomed when talking with my mother. However, it is almost fully unwelcomed when talking with my father. We just never talked about that sort of stuff. With my Dad and I, it has always been all about sports. Although, I am comfortable talking about my sexuality in general with all of my family members, I am not be comfortable going into detail on my sexual experiences. I think this is the case because my sexual experiences are a private, intimate matter. My family has no business in knowing about it unless something negative comes out of it, which it never
has.
THE PRESENT AND CONCLUSION
The process of writing my code of sexual ethics was interesting. It allowed me to really look back on my past actions and reflect upon what I did wrong and what I did right. It is also interesting to think that I may be sharing this code with my children in the future. That fact in itself shaped the way I wrote my code of ethics because I really had to think about what I would approve of as a parent and how I would want my child to behave sexually. It was a hard process, but I learned a lot about myself along the way. I think that writing a code of sexual ethics was definitely useful and helpful in clarifying my sexual philosophy. This is because of the major thought process that was required to put into the creation of the code. I had to dig deep into my families, and my own beliefs and values when addressing sexual behavior, which in turn clarified some hazy thoughts in my mind as well. I currently live by most of the principles I wrote in my code of ethics. My parents raised me well and taught me to respect myself and others, and to also take responsibility for your actions. If there are any of the guidelines of my code that I did not live by in the past, than I will change my ways to live by them now. I can comfortably communicate with friends and intimate partners depending on the content of the subject. I have learned a great amount of information throughout this course. This information has shaped the way I formed my code of sexual ethics. We learned how to respect ourselves and love ourselves before anyone else and that was the basis of my code of sexual ethics. I think my code is pretty solid. I do not think it will need much revision in the future. However, it may need some additions. It may need additions because over the course of time my idea of ethics may change, as I grow older. When I am married the code may be a bit different for me, however I would want to teach my children this exact code of sexual ethics.
ethics will act as a backbone to the teachings of human sexuality for my children and the next generation. I plan for them to follow this code faithfully, as I will continue to do so throughout the remaining course of my life.
CODE
To my Children; I have put together a code of sexual ethics that will help instruct and guide you in the right direction throughout the course of your lives. “Part of discovering yourself sexually usually involves developing your personal set of morals and values as they relate to sexual issues”(Hock, 6). This code of sexual ethics should not be viewed soley as disciplinary, the purpose is to provide guidance throughout the course of your lives. The first principle that is essential to your sexual health and well-being is to always use protection. This is important because
Be faithful to your partner
Wait until you are ready, do not let anyone pressure you/don’t take advantage
Make sure it’s the right person to share the experience with
“Most people agree that parents are the most appropriate source of [sexual] knowledge” (Hock, 15).
THE PAST
My parents have taught me to always be respectful to women. I would never force myself on any woman. They taught me to practice respect with all people, and not to judge others based on their sexuality, even if they may be different from me. I was also taught to never hold back my feelings, and to follow my heart. Yes, in some situations throughout my life, this has lead to heart break. However, in others, it has brought me to experiencing the most amazing feeling in the world; love. I have been known to wear my heart on my sleeve, however, this put forth both benefits and harms on my feelings throughout my life. Sex on the other hand, has always been a bit more personal. My parents did not exclusively teach me about sex. They taught me about love and relationships in general. Although, the topic of sex did arise, it was never the main focus of their teachings. My mother and I have a very comfortable relationship, we are usually able to talk about anything. She has taught me almost everything I need to know about how to make relationships work; along with the respectful ways to treat the woman I love. We did not start having these discussions until I was in high school. I wish that we would have talked about sexual values and behaviors while I was in middle school because that is when I started seriously liking girls. It all started at a pretty young age. I was always able to speak through my heart, even though I tend to be extremely shy. When it comes to feelings of my heart, I need to let it out.
My mom and my peers have always been helpful to me in developing my awareness and understanding about my sexuality.
I have never struggled with my sexuality personally, however, I have always cared greatly about the way I look. Some people call me “metro sexual”. This all started when I was very young. Because I wore nice clothes, and did my hair everyday, some people would mistake me for homosexual. This did not bother me though because I have always been comfortable with my sexuality because I know that I am not homosexual. I just like to look good, which in turn helps me feel good about myself. On the other hand, I think that the media may have played an unhelpful part in raising awareness and understanding about sexuality. Although some programs out there do a great job of explaining these concepts, most of the ones that I was exposed to, did not. Communication about sexuality is definitely welcomed when talking with my mother. However, it is almost fully unwelcomed when talking with my father. We just never talked about that sort of stuff. With my Dad and I, it has always been all about sports. Although, I am comfortable talking about my sexuality in general with all of my family members, I am not be comfortable going into detail on my sexual experiences. I think this is the case because my sexual experiences are a private, intimate matter. My family has no business in knowing about it unless something negative comes out of it, which it never
has.
THE PRESENT AND CONCLUSION
The process of writing my code of sexual ethics was interesting. It allowed me to really look back on my past actions and reflect upon what I did wrong and what I did right. It is also interesting to think that I may be sharing this code with my children in the future. That fact in itself shaped the way I wrote my code of ethics because I really had to think about what I would approve of as a parent and how I would want my child to behave sexually. It was a hard process, but I learned a lot about myself along the way. I think that writing a code of sexual ethics was definitely useful and helpful in clarifying my sexual philosophy. This is because of the major thought process that was required to put into the creation of the code. I had to dig deep into my families, and my own beliefs and values when addressing sexual behavior, which in turn clarified some hazy thoughts in my mind as well. I currently live by most of the principles I wrote in my code of ethics. My parents raised me well and taught me to respect myself and others, and to also take responsibility for your actions. If there are any of the guidelines of my code that I did not live by in the past, than I will change my ways to live by them now. I can comfortably communicate with friends and intimate partners depending on the content of the subject. I have learned a great amount of information throughout this course. This information has shaped the way I formed my code of sexual ethics. We learned how to respect ourselves and love ourselves before anyone else and that was the basis of my code of sexual ethics. I think my code is pretty solid. I do not think it will need much revision in the future. However, it may need some additions. It may need additions because over the course of time my idea of ethics may change, as I grow older. When I am married the code may be a bit different for me, however I would want to teach my children this exact code of sexual ethics.