Sexual Odyssey Of Perfection

THE MINOAN CAFÉ is an exotic, sexual odyssey of self-discovery. The story is character driven and explores the inner struggle of the protagonist with her sexual identity and need for love. The script is driven by themes about exposing ones imperfections and examining sexual honesty. The script also examines the morality of sex with multiple partners. The voice is original.

The actionable goal is clear. The protagonist Amara competes with another dancer for a role in a nude show. The inciting event that propels the story forward is Amara’s audition for the show. The script is also driven by Amara’s inner fear of “exposing” herself.

The second act is propel by her training and learning to be comfortable with being nude and it focuses on her
relationship with Heph. The idea of a woman exploring her sexuality can make for a potentially provocative story. However, while the script presents with plenty of strengths, the script would also benefit from more development.

The structure should be re-examined. The structure’s pacing would benefit from being enhanced. There are scenes that feel non-essential and scenes that are too lengthy. For example, in the first act, the presentation of the show that Amara watches feels too long and it hinders the pace. While the show contains nice subtext about sex, it would benefit the structure to streamline the show.

There’s another long sequence in which Heph gives Amara a tour of the mansion. This sequence also feels too long and would benefit from being tightened.

Overall, the script contains too much exposition. This also tends to hinder the pace.

The plot takes the viewer in a completely new direction around page 94, when Belissa holds Amara captive.
It’s no longer about her audition or coming to terms with her sexuality. It’s about surviving a sadistic and jealous woman. Unfortunately, these scenes take the audience out of the main plotline. The tone becomes ambiguous. It’s almost feels comedic, yet disturbingly dark. The portal scene is just too surreal to fully understand. It’s nice that Amara is able to make a connection to her mother and resolve some inner conflict, but it feels too different from the rest of the script. It’s more fantasy and supernatural, rather than a dramatic, sexual journey. It’s not a tone that
engages.

The reveal that Belissa is Heph’s mother, again, takes the story into an awkward direction. The purpose of this reveal is not clear.

There’s a subplot involving Amara and Jordan, but this subplot never feels fully developed and there’s no real closure to their relationship. Amara sees to easily go from being very attractive to Jordan to sleeping with Heph. For a woman, who is conflicted about her sexuality, she doesn’t act it.

The chemistry between Amara and Heph is very mild.
The audience isn’t fully convinced that they are in love. Most of the sexual scenes between them feel more like sex than romantic love.

In addition, the script is very graphic and this many tend to offend the audience. The story explores sex and the beauty of sex, yet in the script, the women, especially Amara, seem to be sexually exploited (to the viewer). The sex scenes feel like they are more about sexual gratification, rather than genuine love.

The idea of manifesting Amara’s two inner voices representing Amara’s alter egos is very creative and imaginative. This is about all the leap of faith the audience can take, meaning: the surreal, portal sequence ventures too much into the fantasy realm. The rule is that the audience normally can take one leap of faith in a script/film, but when they are asked to take more than one, the credibility of the story is compromised. This is what happens in this script – yes, they accept Amara’s alter egos, but no, not the events with Belissa or the portal.

Overall, the story plot becomes challenging to follow, especially when it deviates away from the goal of the audition. Consider structuring the script to remain on
task.

There’s a note that Amara can’t see her inner voices, yet she seems to be able to hear them and respond to it. Clarify this for the audience (she hears them in her mind?).

The other area to examine is the tension. There’s not enough compelling tension to sustain the plot. The main external goal for Amara is to audition for the dancing role. The goal has merit, but there isn’t anything at risk for Amara if she doesn’t get the dancing job. It feels like the script tries to elevate the tension with Belissa, but these scenes actually take the story is a different direction.

The story is really more about Amara’s internal goal, which is to learn to love again and to enjoy sex without feeling exploited. The inner goal definitely has plenty of merit. The concern is that the series of events to achieve these goals isn’t very compelling.

In irony, the liaison between Amara and Jordan is much more compelling than the Amara and Heph story, because of their conflict, but this storyline, as stated is never really developed to it’s potential.

Amara is clearly a flawed person. Her backstory explains why she has conflict about her own sexual identity. She’s a very conflicted person, which makes her intriguing. However, it’s a bit difficult to believe she goes from no sex to having multiple partners. She uses sex as a substitute for love. She really needs to learn what true love is about. While the character of Amara feels she grows as a person, the audience isn’t so sure.

Heph is also complex. He tends to gets what he wants. He seems a bit obsessive about Amara. He claims she’s the one who got away, but one finds this difficult to believe. He doesn’t seem to really respect women, although he might claim he does. The turn of events regarding his “mother” just isn’t believable.

Shy is competitive and her voice reflects her personality. Belissa is the main antagonist, but her story becomes less credible. She also becomes more cartoonish and her character becomes challenging to take seriously.

The dialogue is sharp and congruent to each character. The dialogue contains nice subtext, but as mentioned, the story feels as if there’s too much exposition.

The script is professionally formatted. It runs long and needs to be streamlined. On page 62, there’s a minor formatting error with two consecutive Jordan character elements.

In summary, this narrative features very original and complex characters. The heroine has intriguing depth and inner conflict. But the structure, unfortunately, doesn’t work to create a compelling enough storyline. It begins about a sexual journey, but becomes too graphic and then too violent, and the ending doesn’t provide for a satisfying emotional experience.

It would be wonderful to see these beguiling characters in a more focused storyline.