Sexuality In Bechdel's Life

When Bechdel reflects on her life it is impossible to ignore the powerful affect her father had on her. The more she learns about her father the better she understands how she became the person she is today. As she became aware of his closeted sexuality it became apparent how strongly that affected her childhood, her own sexual awakening, and her relationship with literature. Her father was conflicted, and the focus on fixing up the house was a way to cover up the disarray the house was really in. She explains this when she calls the décor “lies” (16) and how they were a distraction from the “shame” that inhabited their home. These memories of him growing up were important to her discovering her sexuality. When she discovered her and her father’s
sexuality, their relationship became much clearer. She understood him in a way she never had before. She understood why he didn’t act like a “normal” dad. She understood how hard it must have been to live a life closeted away. She talks about how the books he would recommend to her, helped her in her search for her sexuality. This only makes her relationship with literature even stronger. All these aspects of her life where influenced greatly by her father. Her childhood, her sexuality, and her love for literature. even though her father seemed out of reach or unpredictable she found herself connected to him in very powerful ways. Bechdel sates, “but in the tricky reverse narration that impels our entwined stories, he was there to catch me when I lept” (232). This is a true account for how she feels about her father. Even though his secret may have strained their relationship he was there for her when she needed him.