Shark Vs Sword Fish

This quote gives the reader a sense of impending doom. You know the shark is going to attack and kill the old man. The precise description of the shark makes it feel as if you are face to face with it. Also, the long paragraph makes it seem like the story is going in slow motion. Even so, the sentences don’t run on making the paragraph easy to read. The comparison between the shark and swordfish was well thought out. It is common knowledge that sword fishes are a blue-silver color, and look aerodynamic, much like a mako shark. Even though this essay was great overall, the sentence fluency was merely average. From what I read, his essay was a collection of sentences with similar length sentences. The sentence group,”The shark swung over and
the old man saw his eye was not alive and then he swung over once again, wrapping himself in two loops of the rope. The old man knew that he was dead but the shark would not accept it.”, could be improved by adding the short sentence,” It was dead.”, between the two sentences. This would have made the story seem more epic, because it makes the reader think about the feat the old man accomplished.