Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry
Sibling Rivalry is a natural human tendency of provoking aggravation, competition or even problem solving between siblings. Bickering, verbal assault and even war and bloodshed have erupted from sibling rivalry. And it goes back as far as time. Siblings have competed against each other over anything imaginable. Most of the competitions result in memorable events, some fond, but others can cause serious negative consequences. It’s been known that some siblings have killed each other in rivalry. Although murder is an extreme example of rivalry, most siblings grow up to be lifelong friends. Studies have shown children closer in age are more likely to rival with each other than siblings that are not.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary the definition of Sibling Rivalry is ”arising from the jealousy that can exist between siblings.”
According to the online Etymology Dictionary, the word Sibling came from: "brother or sister," 1903, modern revival (in anthropology) of Old English sibling
According to the Etymology Dictionary online, the word Rivalry came from 1590s; from rival + -ery. Rivality in the same sense is recorded from 1580s.
I believe Sibling rivalry is jealousy, competition and fighting between two siblings; brothers or sisters. It’s one of the most frequent concerns for us, as parents. Having many years of experience rivaling with my two siblings growing up, I now get to experience with our two Daughters, what my parents found very frustrating. The simplest tasks often turn into the most daunting. Trips to the grocery store turn into nightmares of fighting and bickering. Simple task of playing outside always turn into a havoc and someone always crying, or hurt. They throw punches and even pull hair. As a child I remember getting into fights with my Little brother, Chance. I cannot remember the specifics of what caused him to be so mad at me, but I remember I was cleaning the bathroom, when he came in very upset about something, and punched me in my eye, a few days later I even had a black eye. Oh boy, Chance got into a lot of trouble for that.
The rivalry in our house usually starts with the tattle telling on each other. The most common is “MOM, she’s looking at me” or “MOM, she hit me….. “Mom, Mom, Mom….” Seems like one child is always trying to get the other child in trouble for something they don’t like, or knows they could possibly get in trouble for. Another example of rivalry in our house is if one child is asked to take a shower first, or anything first for that matter. The child being asked to take the shower first always asks why she has to take the shower first. It’s almost like she has completely convinced herself that her sister is not going to have to take a shower. As if one is going to get off ‘scot free’. We always try a rotation, of who showers first, in this case, but not even that is good enough between our girls. It often leads to a meltdown or crying and starting fights with one other.
As our daughters grow older, we are hopeful these two beautiful girls of ours will grow out of the rivalry and learn that not everything in life is a competition, or offers instant gratification, and we really do try and treat them equally. We hope to see the two of them become lifelong best friends. I still rival with my older sister, so my fear is that they will continue this pattern as they get older. In order to overcome the rivalry we have to learn how to become better creative parents.