Social Norms In Romeo And Juliet

William Shakespeare’s tales have stood the test of time through his critique of human nature. Certain primal relationships are addressed frequently in his works and a related popular role employed by him is that of the daughter. Arguably one of the most complex roles in Shakespeare, the daughter faces certain expectations while having to handle a set of higher stakes dealt to them by their families and in general, society. An accurate example of this unique dynamic is seen through the famous teenage lover, Juliet Capulet of The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy of Romeo & Juliet. The character of Juliet as a daughter breaks down societal norms and ultimately rebels against her stiflingly distant parents and for this reason is drastically underestimated. These norms pose great challenges to daughters like Juliet because of their importance in society. Expectations are demanded of Juliet by her parents reinforcing the lack of control she has over her own life. “In the fair city of Verona, where we lay our scene.” It is fairly a common social norm to become married and pregnant all in a young woman’s early teen years, roughly around twelve to fourteen. At the time of Shakespeare’s England, the average women did not marry until they were around the age of twenty one, yet in many other cultures this was normal practice. These expectations imposed by her parents, especially her mother, are the initial cause of Juliet’s distress. “Well,
think of marriage now. Younger than you/Here in Verona, ladies of esteem, / are already made mother. By my count/ I was your mother much upon these years/ That you are now a maid.” (1.3.71-75) It is upsetting that she must marry at such a young age is also not aided well by the fact that the husband she must form a union with is fairly older than her. Although Romeo’s age is unknown, it is assumed that he is in his late teens and maybe even in his early twenties. Juliet’s original matched up significant other, Paris, also is thought to be of an older age. These customs bring a definite challenge to Juliet and her freedom. The fact that her parents want to force a marriage upon her is a challenge against her personal freedom and wishes of self-fulfillment. When Juliet’s mother asks her if she is interested in Paris, Juliet expresses her lack of enthusiasm towards marriage and Paris. She talks of her lack of wanting to marry; “It is an honour that I dream not of.” (1.3.68) Then Juliet goes on to explain an ideology of love and her perception of love at first sight:”I’ll look to like, if looking liking move; / But no more deep will I endart mine eye/ Than make your consent to make it fly.” (1.3.99-100) Throughout the rest of the play she struggles with this internal conflict of finding the balance between her parents’ happiness and her own.
This is the trouble with the prescribed role of daughter: it is the parents’ responsibility to make certain their daughter is taken good care of and will be supported by a financially stable husband. The sons of families during this time period were still guided to whom to marry, but it was ultimately the son’s choice. Juliet’s status as a daughter is comparatively low than to what Romeo’s is based just on gender. The challenge of gender discrimination a daughter faces is one they have no control over and this is an unfair disadvantage the men have of the age. This general impediment spanned across the board of female roles, like through wife or sister. Especially with daughters though, they had to succumb to their respected father figure’s ideals because of their complete dependence and relationship with them.
The difficulty of these challenges faced by Juliet’s role as a daughter seems horridly daunting, but fortunately her strength of character lessens keeps her stable throughout her ordeal. The character of Juliet should not be so underestimated by Shakespeare scholars and enthusiasts as a ‘star-crossed lover’ but should have equal consideration to be acknowledged as much as any other influential character because of her spirited personality. Her role as the oppressed daughter can relate to young girls and their strife with their parents. This is the main reason the play is taught in lower level English classes in high school. These young teenagers also can be inspired by Juliet and her gumption to take a stand against her parents’ and their demands of her.
A normal, young woman in her position would think twice before counter-arguing her parents. This shows a great deal of character and quick intellect in Juliet. Her boldness and wit are finely shown after she initially meets Romeo. She begins by setting the guidelines for their “sacred love” and makes Romeo commit to his feelings. Juliet monitors the kisses Romeo gives to her, which is a way for her to set boundaries for the two. Then, Juliet begins to doubt the intensity of the relationship and questions her feelings. “Although I joy in thee, / I have no joy of this contract tonight. / Is it too rash, too unadvised, too sudden, / Too like the lightning which doth cease to be/ Ere one can say it lightens.” (2.1.158-162) However she overcomes her doubts and commits her unrequited love to Romeo by suggesting the two get married. “If that thy bent of love be honourable, / They purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow,” (2.1.185-186) This evidence displays Juliet’s awareness of the situation. She realizes the suddenly rapid development of their relationship and is being responsible by suggesting marriage so that she will not be left soiled by a handsome young man.
This kind of thought process done by Juliet balances perfectly with Romeo. She rationally thinks out most of her situations and processes while Romeo has the intuitive impulses that he constantly acts upon. His Petrarchan-eque love is all consuming and brings Juliet to do things against her parental units most would normally not do. After Romeo murders Tybalt and is in frenzy with Friar Lawrence and the Nurse, he almost kills himself then, so ashamed and upset of his act and the consequences that came with them. Friar Lawrence has to give some hard advice in order for Romeo to calm down:
Hold thy desperate hand.
Art thou a man? They form cries thou art.
Thy tears are womanish, thy wild acts denote
The unreasonable fury of a beast.
Unseemly woman in a seeming man,
And ill-beseeming beast in seeming both! (3.3.107-112)

Romeo’s death threat against himself is thought of as an extremely inappropriate response for a man that is in his situation. Yet, when Juliet threatens to kill herself, her circumstances have higher risks and more difficult problems to solve than Romeo’s: “And ere this hand, by thee Romeo’s sealed,/ Shall be the label to another deed,/ Or my true heart with treacherous revolt/ Turn to another, this shall slay them both.” (4.1.56-59) She is willing to harm herself because of more pressing matters caused by her parents, showing that her will is stronger and wiser than her ripe young age of thirteen.
Because of her young age, readers often view her as naïve and timorous which counters and greatly discredits her responsible, mature acts. The fact that she is only thirteen years of age is astounding at the beginning of the play because of the weight of decisions she is forced to make throughout the rest of the play. She begins the story as this young girl with lack of knowledge and experience for the real world. Returning to the scene where Lady Capulet questions Juliet on her thoughts of marriage and that of her opinion on the ‘County Paris’. Juliet has not really considered marriage at this point and seems disinterested at what her mother says. However, upon meeting Romeo she mentions the thought of marriage not even a day later after he mother has had her marriage conversation with her! The love Juliet expresses for Romeo is the cause for her exponentially fast maturity growth over the play’s four days. The severity of her situation after her cousin Tybalt dies and the second marriage her parents almost disown her for all aid in her accelerated push into adulthood. The famous disowning speech from Lord Capulet resounds heavily within the play, creating an intense forceful situation for Juliet. “Hang thee, young baggage, disobdedient wretch! / I tell thee what: get thee to church o’ Thursday, / Or never after look me in the face.” (3.5.160-162) Yet when thrust upon these tiresome problems, Juliet handles them with a seemingly experienced mind.
Through her ‘wise beyond her years’ demeanor and strong will she overcomes many of the obstacles set in her path by her parents and fate. In order for her to overcome these challenges placed on her, she has to rely on deceit to accomplish her goals. Her courting with Romeo is held primarily in secret until their plans to wed require the assistance of a couple third party outsiders that seem to be the only adult help they receive in the whole play. Juliet surreptitiously undermines her parents on numerous occasions making them believe that she is visiting Friar Lawrence’s cell for confession. The mere fact that she is defying her parents’ wishes shows the significance of Juliet’s merit she puts into her happiness and the lack of regard for her parents’ supposed happiness.
Juliet even goes as far as to physically rise up against them and verbally argue with them. The first instance is, again, discussing marriage with the Nurse and Lady Capulet. She is blatantly disregarding marriage in general and only partially agreeing to complete her mother’s wishes. The next time an actual conversation takes place occurs when Lord and Lady Capulet tell Juliet she is indeed marrying Paris later that week. Juliet objects to the ceremony and defiantly telling her mother so:
Now, by Saint Peter’s Church, and Peter too,
He shall not make me there a joyful bride.
I wonder at this haste, that I must wed
Ere he that should be husband comes to woo.
I pray you, tell my lord and father, madam,
I will not marry yet; and when I do, I swear
It shall be Romeo-whom you know I hate-
Rather than Paris. These are news indeed. (3.5.116-123)

Verbally disregarding her parents’ decision, Juliet even interjects a joke regarding her already established marriage to Romeo Montague.
This passage exhibits Juliet’s respect for herself as a person with her own desires and displays the fact that she can still show some humor in uncomfortable situations. Her ultimate act of defiance against her parents happens when she fakes her own death to be happy with her husband. Juliet demonstrates that it is her that controls the events of her life, not her
parents.
The basic obstacle Juliet has to overcome is her parents, or lack of parents. The only stable parental figure is the Nurse, who talks too much and is difficult to rely on at times. The Nurse mentions in one of her monologues that Juliet’s parents were away while the Nurse weaned her off of breastfeeding: , “My lord and you were then in Mantua,” (1.3.30) This suggests that her parents were never around because of the significant events missed by Lord and Lady Capulet. It also suggests Juliet and her parents are not close through this same scene, when Lady Capulet would like to speak with Juliet so she sends the Nurse away, only to call her back moments later because she is intimidated to be alone with her own daughter. It brings some comfort to see Juliet have a descent parental figure, only to find that when Juliet is in dire need of advice, the Nurse turns fickle and essentially agrees with her parents. Here, the Nurse tries to persuade Juliet to consider Paris as her spouse; “I think it is best you married with the County. / O, he’s a lovely gentleman!...Beshrew my very heart, / I think you are happy in this second match,” (3.5.217-220) The Nurse wants to be of assistance to Juliet, but lacks power in their household dynamic so she cannot tell Juliet what she wants to hear. In the end, Juliet can only fully rely on Friar Lawrence, who becomes a foil to Juliet and her loving husband as the outside forces of fate take control.
To be fair to the young couple, fate had planned the demise of the two from the very beginning. This factor, along with the narrow opinions of Juliet’s parents, served as her downfall. Juliet fell victim to these challenges because of the obstructions placed in her way by “the stars”. The fact that Juliet and Romeo blatantly fought so hard to stay together was how Juliet fell victim to her challenges. All of the deceit and concealment surrounding their romance aided her persistence and rebelliousness against her parents as the feud kept escalating until fate won out in the end, winning Juliet and Romeo’s lives. Friar Lawrence summarizes the thread of fate and its influence over the young couple’s outcome at the end; “A greater power than we can contradict/Hath thwarted our intents.” (5.3.154-155)
Juliet’s role as a daughter invokes social constructs and familial bonds in a complicated way, while at the same time breaking down institutions that led Juliet to struggle. Seeing as she was not the normal rule abiding teenager, she caused major problems with her parental figures. Juliet had her own right to become something that was less like a trophy wife and more like a cherished wife, to become something she would not normally have become. Challenging her parents to stray away from marriage ideals and promoting the campaign of not participating in nuptials proved to be very ineffective, until the very end when Romeo and Juliet’s deaths teach their parents the importance of love and peace. The couple’s story was in the stars all along, the interlude says, unable to stop the forces of fate, which destroyed the both of them. Juliet’s role in Shakespeare’s play provides a fascinating character study on rebellious daughters. It also is a great example of the general role daughters can take in his plays as well. Juliet may not have died as epic as Jim Stark had, but it was still a tragic death nonetheless, for she was a rebel with a cause and that cause was love.