Chapter 10: * Aristotle called humans “the social animal”. * Need to belong: a motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing, positive interactions. * Power of social attachments; group survival for our ancestors, children to heterosexual male and females, enhance survival for children and their caregivers, can dominate emotion and thinking for people everywhere, healthy relationships breed high self-esteem, rejection can lead to depression. * Reminders of death heighten our need to belong. * When we belong, we feel happier and healthier. * Happiness is feeling connected, free and capable. * Humans in all cultures use ostracism to regulate social behaviour. * People respond to ostracism with depressed mood, anxiety, hurt feelings, efforts to restore relationship, and eventual withdrawal. * Silent treatment is emotional abuse. * Exclusion hurts most for anxious people. * Ostracized people exhibit heightened activity in a brain cortex area that also is activated in response to physical pain. * Ostracism seems to be real pain; people relive past social pain more easily than past physical pain. * An exclusion experience triggers mimicry of others' behaviour as a non-conscious effort to build a rapport.
What leads to friendship and attraction? * Factors that nurture liking and loving and help initiate attraction; proximity, physical attractiveness, similarity and feeling liked.
Proximity:
* Proximity (functional distance): geographical nearness. * One of the most powerful predictors of whether any two people are friends is proximity. * Can also breed hostility, but more often kindles liking. * People usually marry people they met at school, work, or their neighbourhood. * Interaction: * Even more significant than geographical distance is functional distance; how often people's paths cross. * Interaction enables people to