When you are in a relationship, arguments or disagreements can arise. They can often trigger strong emotions that lead to hurtful words and uneasiness. If these conflicts are not resolved in a healthy way, resentment and a dissolved relationship could follow. However, when they are resolved in a proper manner, it could promote growth between the couple and fortify the bonds of their relationship (Conflict Resolution Skills).
In the case between Lenora and Joshua, they are having a disagreement about Lenora returning to the workforce, now, when Christa is only 3 months old instead of waiting until Christa is 5 years old. To handle this situation properly, there are ten guidelines that can assist in resolving this conflict between Lenora and Joshua.
Guideline 1 : Express Anger Directly and with Kindness
Lenora should express herself honestly and calmly by stating what she does not agree with. By approaching Joshua, in this manner, she will get him to understand that she is unhappy. Expressing her opinion that going back to work will not only enhance their present economic state, but the future of Christa and the family.
Joshua should try to understand Lenora’s point of view instead of yelling or screaming at her. Due to their economic pressures, Joshua needs to recognize that Lenora’s desire to return to work is in the best interest of their family.
Guideline 2: Check Out Your Interpretation of Others’ Behaviors
Lenora should ask Joshua to try to see things from her point of view. She should ask him how he would feel if he had to re-start his career because of time off.
Joshua should then express his point of view by asking her how she would handle this issue if the shoe were on the other foot. He should also state his concerns about the level of care and cost by putting Christa in daycare.
Guideline 3: To Avoid Attacks, Use “I” Statements
Lenora should explain why she would like to return to work by using
Bibliography: Conflict Resolution Skills. (n.d.). Retrieved August 10, 2013, from helpguide.org: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq8_conflict_resolution.htm Lamanna, M. A. (2012). Guideline 3: To Avoid Attacks, Use “I” Statements. In M. A. Lamanna, Marriages, Families, and Relationships: Making Choices in a Diverse Society, 11th Edition (p. 331). Belmont, California: Wadsworth.