Stephen Tobolowsky's The Santa Conspiracy

Stephen Tobolowsky relays what he labels his “first crisis of belief” in his article “The Santa Conspiracy.” This “crisis of belief” occurs when he has a conversation with his six-year- old friend about his own questioning of whether Santa is real. Tobolowsky is struck by the confrontational and profound statement of this friend: “’It is always easier to want to believe in something than to say it never was true.’” Stephen is five years old when he is jolted by this philosophical maxim from his friend, Dwayne, so much so that over fifty years have passed, and this exchange is still pivotal to Stephen.
Tobolowsky’s article echoes thoughts and feelings about Santa, fears about life, and general doubts that are common to almost every child at some point in his or her life. Stephen describes childhood events and his own propensity toward fear and doubt in a frank and humorous manner that reminds me of Ralphie’s narration in A Christmas Story. Underneath the humor, however, there exists the real torment of doubt and fear that Stephen experiences, fear of the dark, fear of strange noises at night, fear of monsters living in his bedroom. While these fears simply frustrate his well-intentioned parents, they drive Stephen to create remedies of his own to allay his fears. However,
This process is in its infancy when he is faced with his first crisis of belief. Through time and experience, though, he realizes that he need not worry about beliefs he holds that may not be true; those would be winnowed out over time. As the future unfolds, he will be able to adjust his beliefs as experience dictates, all the while deriving hope from these beliefs. As John Paul Jones once said, “Time proves all things.” Thankfully, Tobolowksy arrives at this same conclusion, and he is no longer tyrannized by uncertainty. He is able to have peace in the journey of formulating his