Stereotypes Of Manhood

Paul Theroux is a writer that expresses his concerns and views about the stereotype of manhood in his essay “Being a Man”. He claims that the idea of manhood in America is “a hideous and crippling lie;” that “ not only insists on difference and connives at superiority, it is also by its very nature destructive—emotionally damaging and socially harmful.” (Theroux) Theroux clearly opposes the stereotype of a tough and superior guy that, according to society, all men are supposed to become. In Theroux’s opinion, these ideas of manhood become an “ill-fitting coat” that in the end destroy a male individual. However I disagree. I believe that stereotypical ideas, such as manhood in America, do not destroy every individual. In my opinion, the idea
of manhood described by Theroux only destroys those individuals who disagree with it but fail to fight it.
In his essay Theroux mentions his own struggle to become a writer.
He had to overcome many difficulties to pursue his career; not only posed by society but also by himself. As a boy he hated sports and the way these were supposed to symbolize manliness, but he was also afraid try other things like writing for “writing was not a manly profession— indeed, not a profession at all.” (Theroux) He quickly realized that becoming a writer and becoming a man where roads that lead to opposite directions. The most crowded road would take him to a life full of sports and “manliness”, while the deserted road would make him a writer and an outcast. In the end Theroux decided to take a risk and become a writer. He chose to defy society, to follow his dreams and to stand by his choice. He fought society’s stereotypes and was able to become what he always wanted: a successful writer. In the end Theroux decided not live a miserable life burdened by oppressing ideas but to free himself from these
chains.
But what about those men who neither agree with the parameter of a perfect man nor fight it back?
I believe these are the unfortunate individuals who are still waiting to get to a place they haven’t decided to go. They want things to change; however they haven’t taken action. These are the boys that forced themselves to act violently and prove their strength to their peers. These are the boys who trained harder than others in order to make the team of a sport they probably disliked. These are the boys that spent their lives feeling lost. Chances are in the end they ended being the men that Theroux’s describes as “Moral degenerates, sadists, latent rapists and just plain louts.” They were unable to fight society and in the end it destroyed them.
Like Virginia Wolf, Theroux intended to go against ideas he disagreed with. If he had not been able to fight back stereotypes he would’ve been crushed underneath them. He too in his own way, was able to kill the “Angle in the house” before it killed him. On the other hand the men who disagreed but never fought back suffered the “emotionally damaging and socially harmful” side of the idea of manhood described by
Theroux.
In his essay, Theroux successfully explains his opinion about stereotypes. Yet, he seems so focused on criticizing that he fails to recognize that there are many men that can live happily and fully after opposing and refusing to accept society’s popular ideas. For this reason I think that society can shatter those individuals who live in a personal struggle (individuals that could challenge society but remain dormant instead, refusing to fight) but it can also accept those who are strong enough to disagree.
In the end Theroux states everything he considers to be wrong about the idea of manhood in America. But he never gives a description of what could eventually be a right and accepted behavior for men. So clearly we know what manhood should not be…but then what should it be?