Summary Of Gershen Kaufman's Coming Out Of Shame

I am reading “Coming out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives” by Gershen Kaufman. This is one of the first books I picked up when I was in the mist of dealing with my sexuality. The first shame, inferiority, and guilt I felt concerning homosexuality were as a young child growing up in a Black Baptist church. “Organized Christian Religion, in particular, has been a major source of shame and contempt for homosexuality” (Gershen, p. 9). The pastor would preach many sermons on the sinfulness of being gay. “You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination”. (Leviticus 18:22 The New Bible). The preaching of this belief was devastating to my self esteem which was deeply rooted in my spirituality and most importantly
Comments such as “if a gay person is around you, don’t bend over” was only one of many that I heard. The last two years I have been in a graduate school in Manhattan in which I was totally out of the closet. This was my first time being completely out as a gay man in any long term environment. Maybe because the program was so liberal, gay comments were never heard. The program itself did not tolerant any sexual harassment at all. So I was not used to working in a blue-collar environment where derogatory sexual comments were the norm. I forgot what it felt like to be in such a climate. This is the climate Donnie lives in at Hinterland. I can now sympathize with his situation. I become sensitive once more to the hurt, shame, and self loathing one feels when jokes about gays are spoken. Many times I felt like telling them that I was indeed gay and to respect me and cease with this ignorant language. Then at times I felt to not worry about it. I was only going to be there for a couple of weeks. It seems to me personally, that it is more of an event, or it is more difficult to tell individuals I am gay, after they have assumed I am straight versus just coming out from day one letting them know my sexuality. But my sexuality is really none of their business. I am not going to walk in the first day of work, and say,
There was no shame in these two men being in love. It was being celebrated. This celebration all happened in a neighborhood exactly like the one I grew up in as a kid. They had a white picket fence with dogs running in the yard. Little kids were at the party getting their faces panted by a clown. It was a total family affair. The only gay celebrations that I was exposed to at the time were in bars and clubs in the midnight hour. I always felt shame when getting dressed to go out to a gay event because it was always at night after the sun went down. After everyone went to sleep was the only time I thought I could be openly gay which added even more secrecy, shame, and guilt to my