Preview

Summary Of Sex Lies By Deborah Tannen

Good Essays
Open Document
Open Document
346 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
Summary Of Sex Lies By Deborah Tannen
Deborah Tannen wrote the article sex, lies and conversation man and his wife are present in a small gathering in Virginia. The man is really talkative throughout the event. However, when he is complimented for his ability to express himself; he answers that in reality he is quite and his wife is the talkative one. Women tend to complain about their husbands been quiet. This is caused by the way men express themselves compared to women.
Women talk in order to stablish a relationship while men are more likely to do something to demonstrate their commitment. Women see communication as key. Therefore, they expect their husbands to be a better version of their best friends. Men tend to get distracted easily; whenever a man wants to listen to someone,

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Good Essays

    In the article "His Talk, Her Talk" by Joyce Maynard, she believes that men are not smarter, steadier, more high-minded than women. She tells an experience of her own to show that there is such thing as "men's talk" or "women's talk". At the party that she attended, "it suddenly became apparent that all the women were in one room and all the men were in the other" (27). Of course, they redistributed themselves then, but no one had suggested they segregate. Also, she feels that "the talk in the kitchen was simply, all the women, felt, more interesting" (27). She also mentions that man and woman are both have different types of talking. "I think I know my husband very well, but I have no idea what goes on when he and his male friends get together. Neither can he picture what can keep a woman friend and me occupied for three hours over a single pot of coffee" (27). When a group of women conversation to her, "is likely to concern itself with matters just as pressing as those broached by my husband and friends" (27). So her conclusion is that…

    • 775 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    According to Dr. Louann Brizandine, in a 24 hour period, the average man will speak anywhere from 7000-10,000 words, whereas a woman can speak anywhere from 20,000-24,000 words. Thousands upon thousands of words are thrown out of the human brains, but how many of those are truly understood? More importantly, how many of those are not? In Deborah Tannen 's essay, "Sex, Lies, and Conversation," pathos and logos are dropped in bombshells in order for the reader to feel accessible to such information. She poses the question, "Why is it so hard to talk to my spouse?" Through various statistics and examples, she makes the reader feel like it is his or her world she is talking about, or individualizing the audience members. The pathos in this essay mostly stirs the inner desire for a happy marriage; she simply makes the male or female reader feel like they too have misinterpreted the opposite sex. Suddenly, the reader might feel guilty, but then relieved when Tannen displays the solution. However, the statistics, quotes, and facts in the essay…

    • 1492 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Sex, Lies, and Conversation is a very interesting piece written by Deborah Tannen in which she discusses how men and women communicate in different ways, albeit with each other or with the opposite sex. She lists three different points which are, how contact is made in these conversations, how each other reacts to this contact, and we were all raised and taught differently in communication, determined by our sex. She drives home these points throughout her piece by using cold hard facts to support her claims.…

    • 86 Words
    • 1 Page
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    To define these communication conundrums, Tannen discusses "rapport-talk" and "report-talk". She defines "rapport-talk" as "For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships" (Cooper and MacDonald 10). Rapport-talk has its strong points focused on showing similarities and matching experiences. Women choose private speaking as the best places for communication. They like small settings and small groups of people that they know well. Tannen uses "report-talk" to explain how men communicate. "Report-talk" is "For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order" (Cooperand MacDonald 10). Men choose to communicate in public settings, they like to hold center stage by talking as much as possible and to be recognized and acknowledged as having a place in the social order. But as Tannen states, "even the most private situations can be approached like public speaking, more like giving a report than establishing a rapport" (Cooper and MacDonald 10).…

    • 802 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    When growing up and interacting with others, boys and girls usually play with other children who are of the same gender. Showing that the a child’s development is based upon peer interactions which link to how they talk with their significant other (208). Men and women interpret the need of conversation differently as they are growing up, typically men stay more reserved towards their friends, where women are more likely to talk more openly. When women and men grow together in order to form relationships, the women will be more expecting of the man to be open and talkative when it comes to their conversations, whether they be in public or in the privacy of their own home. This stems back to how a woman is raised. Women are raised to not be afraid to express themselves, so because of this, a wife will expect “her husband to be a new and improved version of a best friend” (208). A sense of closeness is formed within a relationships, when conversations of importance are brought up. If that bond is not formed early on, the relationship could…

    • 1012 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    You Just Don't Understand

    • 1324 Words
    • 6 Pages

    Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).…

    • 1324 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    i. Men tend to be more direct in communicating and look for a solution as quickly as possible…

    • 621 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In the essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation” by Deborah Tannen, the author claims that the men more likely to talking in public place, but less at home. The women is more likely to talk to their husband at home, but do not talk in the public. We see this when the author explain the reason. She states, “In the public setting of a guest lecture, men felt challenged to show his intelligence and display his understanding of the lecture. But at home, where he has nothing to prove and no one to defend against, he is free to remain silent. For his wife, being home means she is free from the worry that something she says might offend someone,or spark disagreement,or appear to be showing off; at home she is free to talk.” This suggests the men likely to talk in public because they want to showing their intelligence to other people, but women feel free to talk at home because they do not have to fear about creating conflict with others.…

    • 430 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    While much has been said about women and men being from different planets and having their own cultures, the reality is that we have all grown up on the same planet, and interact with each other in different ways on a daily basis. It’s fun to look at communication differences between men and women but we also have to be careful to not stereotype and assume that all men will act a certain way and all women will act a certain way. We are all on a continuum and there are women that have some traits that might be attributed to the male style or there are times when it is necessary to use the male style and the same for men. Women are more likely to talk to other women when they have a problem or need to make a decision. Men keep their problems to themselves and don’t see the point in sharing personal issues.…

    • 762 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Term Paper

    • 407 Words
    • 2 Pages

    3. Relationships: Women are purported to have better communication skills and emotional intelligence than men. Women tend to be group-oriented, and apt to seek solutions by talking through issues. Men can have trouble picking up on emotional cues unless they’re clearly verbalized – making for tricky communications between the sexes.…

    • 407 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    Miscommunication influences the majority of our problems, from household conflicts to a continental scale. Miscommunication affects our everyday lives. Everyone holds desires or wants that we do not always express to others, be it co-workers or loved ones. Additionally, we as individuals utilize different styles of communication when expressing ourselves to others. This difference is extremely prevalent within conversation between men and women. One of the strongest communication barriers lies within gender; American academic and professor of linguistics, Deborah Tannen alongside business and marketing team Robin Croft, Clive Boddy and Corinne Pentucci, both shed light upon the varying aspects of conversation among women and men. Tannen presents her thoughts in the form of her essay Sex, Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to other? Whilst Croft and his collogues share data results in their research journal Say what you mean, mean what you say. However, Tannen takes on a solution-to-conflict approach whereas Croft and his colleagues study this conversational contrast as an…

    • 605 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    Generally speaking, in our society boys and men are seen as aggressive, independent and objective. Girls and women are seen as submissive, dependent and subjective. In general, men talk to give information or to report. They talk about things -- business, sports, and food -- rather than people. They convey facts, not details. They are goal-oriented. They focus on solving problems and are less likely to ask for help or directions. Men compete. Women, on the other hand, talk to get information and to connect or to gain rapport. They talk about people rather than things. They convey feelings and details. They are relationship oriented. They are quicker to ask for and accept help or directions. Women cooperate. These differences can create conflict between the sexes socially, professionally and intimately. The advice most frequently given is for men and women to understand and respect their differences and similarities. We all belong to the same human race with the same fears, desires and needs. Our survival depends on our willingness to understand and be understood. Are you an open or reserved person, an…

    • 721 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    Conversation is a normal part of every day life. People converse everywhere they go; whether they are with their friends’, at school or even while at the store, a conversation is bound to ignite. While communicating has its ups, it also has its downs; these ‘downs’ can happen especially when men and women are communicating because, according to Deborah Tannen, they have different communication styles. Tannen illustrates this in her video, He Said, She Said: Gender, Language, & Communication, where she talks about and gives many examples of how men and women differ in their conversational approaches. I definitely agree with Tannen in regards that conversation between the sexes is asymmetrical.…

    • 1658 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    What Tannen says about women and men’s communication is true in some cases, but the way I see it, in my experience, as a kid growing up I tend to see my mother taking to my father but my father is sitting there just watching TV, like what Tannen said in the article “Men tend to talk more in public then women but they are less talkative when being home, honestly I tend to be like that to, as what Tannen explains the difference between the communication boys and girl is 100% accurate. Back in elementary school girl would go into their group…

    • 260 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    I WAS ADDRESSING a small gathering in a suburban Virginia living room -- a women's group that had invited men to join them. Throughout the evening, one man had been particularly talkative, frequently offering ideas and anecdotes, while his wife sat silently beside him on the couch. Toward the end of the evening, I commented that women frequently complain that their husbands don't talk to them. This man quickly concurred. He gestured toward his wife and said, "She's the talker in our family." The room burst into laughter; the man looked puzzled and hurt. "It's true," he explained. "When I come home from work I have nothing to say. If she didn't keep the conversation going,…

    • 2152 Words
    • 9 Pages
    Powerful Essays