Dr. X: Hello and welcome to Your Life Sucks, Get Over It. Today’s topic will be violent relationships and why the heck people stay in them. We have 5 very special people on the show today. Now, first we have to get to know you. Please state your name and blood type.
Tom: What does blood type have to do with ANYTHING?
Dr X: Just answer the question.
Tom: Uh…Tom…and I don’t know my blood type…
Dr X: Right then. And you, please state your name and blood type
Elsa: Elsa, and why do YOU have to know my blood type?
Dr. X: Because it’s MY show. YOU’RE just on it because your life sucks!
Elsa: No. That’s Caitlin. NOT ME!!
Dr. X: O…k…and you, name and blood type.
Saint: My name’s Saint…and I love football.
Dr. X: Wait, REAL name and BLOOD TYPE!!
Saint: Patrick, and I love FOOTBALL!!
Dr X: Ok, we know you like football. Now state your blood type.
Saint: FFFOOOOOOTTTTTTTBBBBBBAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!!
Dr X: You know what, forget it. And you, name and blood type.
Mario: Mario Ortega, blood type AB negative.
Dr X: Ok, good. And you?
AJ: (Starts to cry)……………..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Mario: That’s AJ. He’s a little EMOtional.
AJ: AHHHHHHHHH, what?
Dr X: All right then. Let’s get started. So, who actually has BEEN in a violent relationship?
All:………………………………….
AJ…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Dr X: Anyone?
Mario:……….Me.
Dr X: All right, now we got a show going! So tell us, Mario, what role did you play in the violent relationship?
Mario: The violent one.
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Dr X: Hmm. What did you do to her…………. or him?
Mario: Uh, her, and I pushed my pregnant wife out a moving car.
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Dr X: Why?
AJ: TO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Mario: O…k…My father got on my nerves.
Dr X: Oh, I see. You were mad at your FATHER so you pushed your WIFE out a moving car. That makes PERFECT sense!! Moving on!
Mario: No, wait, that’s not