The story explores themes about redemption, second chances, and has the potential to explore the man vs. machine dynamics.
There’s so much potential for this concept, but the script and plot would benefit from further development.
First, the strength of the script is the idea of Joe sneaking on the ship to join the test dummy in his last flight. They both share interesting backstories and for both it’s their final journey. The idea of the human connection with a test dummy that comes to life presents with great possibilities that need to be explored more in depth.
The areas to re-examine include the structure, pace, clarification, and …show more content…
In most action films the story opens with an action sequence to help set the tone and introduce the world to the audience. Right now, opening with the Russians doesn’t instantly pull the audience into the plot. It’s too passive. Consider opening with either Joe’s backstory, or a scene that features a test dummy and/or both.
The idea of Joe having a troubled backstory is smart. However, it would benefit the script to establish more of Joe’s ordinary world. This includes his home life. Establish his personality and his need for redemption or a second chance. It’s important that the audience finds a way to emotionally connect and bond with Joe.
There are several solid pivotal events in the first act. One is when the technician plants the grey cartridge. However, it’s not clear why they use this test to smuggle in the information. One would think it could be executed in another way. It seems very risky to sneak it on and then expect for them to land at the secret Russian base. This should be