“Mom, what is school?” I would ask. I would not receive …show more content…
For a moment I was confused. What are we supposed to be shooting? My question was quickly answered in the form of gunfire. I was mortified to see where this gunfire was directed. Men, women, and children of all ages were gunned down with no apparent reason. I wanted to remain loyal to Daniel and the rest of Charlie Company, so I followed orders as well. I raised my weapon towards the nearest group of villagers and opened fire. They all fell under the barrage of bullets that I sent their way. As I approached the group of civilians, the look of sheer terror on their faces burned an image in my mind that I will never forget. I looked around and saw Daniel committing the same despicable acts that I was. However, he seemed to enjoy what he was doing. In fact, I noticed many soldiers around me smiling as they carried out the orders of William Calley. It seemed as if I was one of the few people that knew what we were doing was wrong. We advanced through the village, burning huts as we went. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the people that had been killed by my comrades. I witnessed one soldier throw a man into a deep well and throw a grenade in after him. I winced at the sound of the explosion. As much as I wished this nightmare to end, the killings continued on for the rest of the day. When our mission was over, we entered the waiting helicopters and flew back to base. Watching this massacre happen before my eyes …show more content…
“What is wrong with you? Didn’t you see what we did to those people?” The smile was quickly replaced by a blank expression. His eyes were drained of any emotion, almost as if he was dead inside. Daniel said: “I know what I was doing back there. We were just following orders.”
I couldn’t bring myself to sleep the night after what I had done in My Lai. Whenever I closed my eyes I saw the frightened faces of the men, women, and children that I had killed. I saw the bodies of the innocent people that we slaughtered. I saw the burning huts. These images had an iron grip on my brain that refused to let go. I continued to carry out everyday activities around base like normal.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone. After considering what I had done
I couldn’t deal with my guilt anymore. I knew that there was only one way for me to end the guilt and suffering. I loaded my weapon completely knowing what I was about to do. I pulled the trigger. A thunderous boom emerged from the gun, followed by a blinding flash. Following the gunshot was darkness. There was no suffering. There were no feelings of regret. There was no war to be fought. There was no pain. There was no death. In the end, there was