The Gottman Method: Types Of Couples-Based Therapy

Gottman Method is a type of couples-based therapy, that is based on the studies and clinical practice of psychologist John M. Gottman, and his wife psychologist Julie Gottman. John Gottman is a contemporary psychologist best known for his research on marital stability and his ability to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy. In a nutshell, this therapy is based on developing understanding skills so that partners can maintain affection and admiration, turn toward each other and to get their needs met and manage conflicts they face. All therapy is based on a couple’s patterns of interacting, and partners learn and implement relationship-building and problem-solving skills together. The Gottman Method asserts on observations and predictions which
demonstrates that there is a real science to that most ineffable of experiences, love. It is built on research showing that negativity makes a big impact on the brain, and that if they do not take steps to prevent instances of negativity, couples will emotionally grow apart. It identifies and addresses the states of mind and behaviors shown to determine intimacy and helps partners maintain a positive orientation to each other that can assist them in upsetting circumstances. From what I have researched and observed from the couple sessions, each partner establishes a relationship with the therapist by sharing their history, understanding of their relationship and the goals they want to achieve. The couples also go through a discussion round about a topic where one of the partners disagree. Couples are thought about the components of a healthy relationship. Couples are bolstered on the respect and fondness that brought them together at first. Direct coaching from the therapist in the use of interaction skills, and the learning and practicing skills for each element of a good relationship, ranging from development of trust to repairing attacks and other regrettable incidents. From what I have seen in the sessions, my supervisor has clearly explained the Gottman’s theory, quoted his ideas and main approaches. In a session he clearly mentioned the Gottman’s idea on the four predictors of divorce which he called the “four horsemen”. These behaviors, which include excessive criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. These four things, which present communication breakdown, and erode the love. According to Gottman and Silver (1999), flooding is also a major predictor of divorce. Stonewalling is usually a protective behavior spouses exhibit when they are being flooded. Flooding occurs when a spouse’s negativity overwhelms the partner, so the partner “shuts down.” Because they feel so defenseless and helpless, the spouse learns to avoid the contempt and criticism coming from the other spouse. Through the couple sessions, the main reason the couples were seeking psychological help was because of the lack of communication. They were really unable to communicate and understand each other through the use of words. My supervisor watched the compelling, absorbing nature of negative emotions (Gottman, 2007) and the unresolved hurts and wounds (Johnson, 2008) that get in the way of being able to engage in respectful, mutually honest, and vulnerable conversations.
On the other hand, schema therapy is another approach used in couples’ therapy.
I have not seen this therapy model throughout my school life, but I had a chance to observe and learn in my internship period. Schema Therapy combines facets of cognitive, behavioral, psychodynamic, attachment and gestalt models, and considered to be a truly integrative model, and one that continues to evolve as its use internationally is growing. Theoretical integration aspires to more than a simple combination of techniques as it seeks to create an emergent theory that is more than a sum of its parts (Norcross, 1997). Young (1990) defines Early Maladaptive Schemas (EMS) as self-defeating emotional and cognitive patterns that develop early in childhood and are strengthened and elaborated throughout life. Maladaptive behaviors are considered to be driven by schemas. According to the model, schemas are dimensional, meaning that they have different levels of severity and preponderance. A schema is a stable and a lasting negative pattern that develops during childhood through adolescence and is reinforced through thoughts, actions, beliefs, and relationships throughout the individual’s life. The therapy involves three stages. First stage is the assessment phase, in which the schemas are identified. Second stage is the emotional awareness and experiential phase, where the patients get in touch with the schemas, and the third stage is the behavioral change stage, which the client actively becomes involved in replacing the negative and habitual thoughts with new and healthy behavioral and cognitive options. Dr. Jeffrey E. Young, the founder of schema therapy, has listed 18 types of schemas. These are; Abandonment / Instability, Mistrust / Abuse, Emotional Deprivation, Defectiveness / Shame, Social Isolation / Alienation, Dependence / Incompetence, Vulnerability to harm or illness, Enmeshment / Undeveloped Self, Failure to Achieve, Entitlement / Grandiosity, Insufficient Self-Control /
Self-Discipline, Subjugation, Self-Sacrifice, Approval-Seeking / Recognition-Seeking, Negativity / Pessimism, Emotional Inhibition, Unrelenting Standards / Hyper Criticalness, Punitiveness.