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The Marriage Counsler

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The Marriage Counsler
The Marriage Counselor
Tiger: She is impossible; I can’t stand living with her for another hour, another minute. I’m losing my hair I’m so upset. It’s coming out in big chunks. I’m getting constipated. And it’s all her fault.
Susan: I can’t take this anymore of this. He is an insensitive self-centered jerk.
Tiger: She shaves her legs with my razor, my razor, the one I USE ON MY FACE!
Susan: He shaves his face with my razor, my razor, the one I USE ON MY LEGS!
Tiger: She leaves her dirty underwear all over the house and she eats potato chips in bed and wont share
Susan: He clips his fingernails in the living room and I don’t share because hes getting fat
Tiger: Me? I’m getting fat?
Susan: I’m glad you agree
Tiger: Do you see?
Susan: He is totally unreasonable
Tiger: Na na na na na na na
Susan: Don’t be such a child
Tiger: Don’t be such a virus
Susan: Virus? I’m a virus?
Tiger: Look, do you want to do this or what? You wanted to come to a marriage counselor, I agree, as usual I gave in-
Susan: Ho ho ho! You gave in! You never give in!
Tiger: Do you see the way she twists thins?
Susan: I didn’t twist anything
Tiger: She does it all the time, it’s like living with a giant squid. Did that hurt your feelings?
Susan: No.
Tiger: Squid Squid.
Susan: It’s not my fault your as smart as I am
Tiger Oh, I am, I am. It’s just that you’re cold and I’m sensitive
Susan: You mean stupid
Tiger: No, I mean stupid. You’re the insensitive one. I’m the stupid one.
Intro: In “The Marriage Counsler” by Joey Ouellete a couple has trouble being honest with each other. This causes others to be involved and many problems. “The Marriage Counselor” by Joey Ouellete.
Tiger: So what’s with the UPS men
Susan: I’d forgotten what we were talking about. It’s your birthday present
Tiger: Pardon?
Tiger: UPS men are in my house everyday for an hour with you in your bathrobe and that’s my birthday present
Susan: They’re delivering something
Tiger: I didn’t order
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