The Meaning Of Life In The Book 'First They Killed My Father'

The meaning of life is different to everyone. In the book “First they killed my father“ there are many examples of what Loung considered the meaning of life. She suggests that the meaning of life is to have a full loving family to count on. She shows this by being sentimental over her mother's belongings, the way she admires Pa (her father), the thought she put into how her father was killed, the grief she felt when she realized Geak and her mother were killed, when she was holding back tears when she thought about how Ma, Pa, Keav, and Geak could never make it to America. “Chou and I come home to find Kim in the corner of the hut watching the mother go through our things. I climb the steps and sit by him, holding in my anger” (Ung 133). Her
foster mother is looking through her and her siblings bags and finds her real mother's silk shirt and tries it on
Loung feels sentimental about her mother's things even moreso now that her mother has passed away.
Most people would be the same way especially if their mother was killed the same way as Loungs mother. “Feeling safer after my talk with Pa,” (Ung 19) Loung is asking Pa why the Khmer Rouge was in Phnom Penh. She didn’t quite understand though. She says she hopes to be half as smart as he is. She obviously loves her father; as well as her mother but she was closer to her father. “I cannot think of Pa being hurt this way, but images of him crawling at his throat, fighting for air as the soldiers pile dirt on him flood my mind.” (Ung 74). She goes into detail about how she thought he was ruthlessly killed. She talks about how she feels about what she thinks they did. Loung feels terrible for the longest about him being killed. She even says that she wants to kill Pol Pot and his men but the rest of her family says that saying things like that is outrageous and could get her killed; which it could but she didn't care. “Where did they go? I don't know, they went with soldiers,” ( Ung 123). Here Loung is just making her way from the girls camp she stays at to go see Ma and Geak but when she gets there they are gone. She almost can’t believe what she's seeing; or, not seeing. Instantly she know what happened to them. She refuses to accept it and starts screaming for Ma in her tent but to no avail. “Poor little Geak, she never got anything good out of life” (Ung 123) Ung is mourning already and what happened didn't happen too long ago before Loung got there. This shows you how much she cares about her family and doesn't want anything to happen to them. It’s bad enough that they had to split up and go to different camos in the first place.”I think of Pa, Ma, Keav, and Geak. Swallowing tears that drip down my throat, I reflect on how I left my family behind.” (Ung 169). Obviously she loves her family. She hates what has happened to them. It was just her and Meng that came to
America while Khouy, Kim and Chou continued to live in Bat Deng; Ma’s hometown. She tried to “Americanize” herself in hopes to almost forget the events that were the reason for her coming to america. In the end she lived a pretty normal life in america. Chou likes to write to Meng with questions about Loung but she never answers them back.