the negative split

Divorce: The Negative Split

Taylor Ford

AP Language & Composition
Leigh Eggleton
3 March 2014
Taylor Ford
Eggleton
AP Language & Composition
13 February 2014
Divorce: The Negative Split
Although divorce mainly concerns a husband and wife, it is normally the children of the union that are affected. Divorce is almost always stressful for children and increases the risk for them to suffer from both psychological and behavioral problems. The children normally suffer from anxiety and Depression soon after the divorce and usually it continues into their early 20’s. Age also plays a big factor in its psychological affects. Also, divorce normally increases the chances of drug abuse and drinking and smoking habits. They are also more likely to drop out of school and create a life for themselves as criminals. Depending on how bad the split is, it can also affect their future relationships and marriages. In a study on children of divorced families, 73 percent of them said they would be a different person if their parents had not divorced (Emery, how divorce affects children). This is the kind of situation that not only affects the immediate party but also affects the people around them in negative ways. Divorce is a hard subject to describe, especially for a child of divorced families, but they are very negative things that affect children psychologically, behaviorally, and in future relationships.
The age of children during a divorce is what mainly affects how psychologically damaged they are. With older children they remember the divorce more in depth than the younger ones, but the younger children live through the divorce longer (Mallon). Preschoolers and younger children usually seem to be baffled by the divorce and they lack the coping skills necessary to deal with the changes associated with the divorce. Children between the ages of 6 to 8 tend to suffer from intense grief over the loss of not having one of their parents living with them. Older children, usually between the ages of 9 and 12, are more mentally prepared for their parents divorce in that they can express their disapproval, but they are more likely to express anger (Foulkes-Jamison). In one study of divorced children, they went back at five and ten years after the divorce to see how it still affected their lives (Wallerstein). Some said that they had a new understanding for the divorce, and that it had been a wise decision. There was still a bittersweet quality to most of their statements though. Many of them explained how the divorce had mentally affected them by saying they now had fears of betrayal, they had had rising anxiety in their late teens and early 20’s they also experienced depression in their young adulthood. Obviously, the longer a child lives in a divorce, the worse it will be off. They live in the divorce longer than children whose parents divorced in their teens.
The behavior of children is greatly affected in the midst of a divorce. With their mental state depleting, they are more like to start smoking and using various types of drugs and alcohol to cope with the pain of losing one or both of their parents. There is also an increase in the dependence on Ritalin, a drug that helps with ADHD and narcolepsy. It is believed that the stress caused from a divorce causes a dependence on the drug. There was also an increase likelihood of the children dropping out of school. In 2010 a study found that over 78 percent of children in two parent households graduated from high school at the age of 20, but only 60 percent of children who went through a family change, such as divorce, graduated by that same time. Also the more change a child is forced to go through, like divorce followed by remarriage, the more difficult it is for them to finish school. In 2009 the Mishcon de Reya law firm polled 2,000 people who had had their parents divorce in the past 20 years; 42 percent said they witnessed increased aggression, 49 percent were forced to comfort and upset parent, and 24 percent had to lie for one parent or the other. This caused one in ten to turn to crime and 8 percent to consider suicide (Hansen).
According to the data the University of Denver published in the Journal of Family Psychology, a parental divorce may change the way children see relationships. Children normally have less relationship confidence, an increase in divorce rates for their future marriages, and an increase in sexual risks they will take before marriage. In the University of Denver’s study researchers Rhoads, Stanley, and Markman found that women who had their parents divorce had lower levels of relationship confidence and commitment. Also there was higher parental conflict. This was not the same for men, suggesting that it is uniquely effective for women whose parents had been divorced to have a negative view of their future romantic relationships. A divorce between parents increases the risk of divorce between the children of the household. Finnish research published in the Journal of Family Psychology recorded data from 1471 individuals over a sixteen year period. The researchers found that both sexes’ that came from divorced families were more likely to be separated or divorced by the age of thirty two. They found that it was women from divorced families who had poorer family relationships, lower self esteem, and lower social support ratings than women whose parents had not divorced. So children of divorced families usually have difficulty in future relationships, but it is mostly women. According to the University of Iceland’s research published in the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology children in divorced homes will have an increase in sexual risks. They found that adult children coming from divorced families had more negative emotional experiences, such as anxiety and depression. Also, they found that children with divorce parent had more short love affairs, more sexual partners, and had their first sexual experience at a younger age than children whose parents had not been divorced (Causewell).
Here are some comments posted on an article called “Children of Divorce: Study Finds Younger Children Feel Lasting Effects of Divorce” by Bridget Mallon.
“The core of the problem isn’t the divorce itself, it is HOW you divorce…” -Belinda_Rachman
In response to Belinda_Rachman “Nope. The problem is the divorce itself. It is the same effect that having a tornado, hurricane, or massive earth quake has on children. It introduces their minds to the idea that life is deeply uncertain, from a really young age.” - Greg_Albright
Obviously, divorce is negative on children. They may not all become affected the same but there are always negative signs. They could suffer psychologically, behaviorally, or in their future relationships. Not all people believe it is the divorce itself that causes problems, but how they divorce. It’s very controversial, but the evidence seems to point towards that all children are affected, no matter how close the children and parents stay. So the real question is, is divorce really negative or is it just how the children react? The answer is both, divorce is negative but it is the reaction of the children and how badly they take it that truly makes the divorce negative.

Works Cited
Causewell, Melody. "The Effect of Divorced Parents on a Child 's Future Relationships." Everyday Life. Demand Media, n.d. Web. 27 Jan. 2014.
Emery, Robert E. "The Truth About Children And Divorce by Robert E. Emery, Ph.D." Emery on Divorce. R. E. Emery, 2000. Web. 30 Jan. 2014.
Foulkes-Jamison, Lesley. "Effects of Divorce on Children - Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida." Effects of Divorce on Children - Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida. Clinical Psychology Associates, 1 Jan. 2001. Web. 28 Jan. 2014.
Hansen, Lauren. "9 Negative Effects Divorce Reportedly Has on Children - The Week." The Week. The Week News, 28 Mar. 2013. Web. 29 Jan. 2014.
Mallon, Bridget. "Children Of Divorce: Study Finds Younger Children Feel Lasting Effects Of Divorce." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 01 July 2013. Web. 29 Jan. 2014.
Wallerstein. "Long Term Effects of Divorce on Children." North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service, Web.

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Cited: Causewell, Melody. "The Effect of Divorced Parents on a Child 's Future Relationships." Everyday Life. Demand Media, n.d. Web. 27 Jan. 2014. Emery, Robert E. "The Truth About Children And Divorce by Robert E. Emery, Ph.D." Emery on Divorce. R. E. Emery, 2000. Web. 30 Jan. 2014. Foulkes-Jamison, Lesley. "Effects of Divorce on Children - Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida." Effects of Divorce on Children - Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida. Clinical Psychology Associates, 1 Jan. 2001. Web. 28 Jan. 2014. Hansen, Lauren. "9 Negative Effects Divorce Reportedly Has on Children - The Week." The Week. The Week News, 28 Mar. 2013. Web. 29 Jan. 2014. Mallon, Bridget. "Children Of Divorce: Study Finds Younger Children Feel Lasting Effects Of Divorce." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 01 July 2013. Web. 29 Jan. 2014. Wallerstein. "Long Term Effects of Divorce on Children." North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service, Web. Ford 3