The New Momism

The New Momism

Over the past thirty years, motherhood has changed significantly in society. From how mothers raise their kids, to what they look like is an ongoing battle that they cannot win. In the book, The Mommy Myth, the authors Susan Douglas, a Communication Studies Professor at the University of Michigan, and Meredith Michaels, a philosophy teacher at Smith College, write about the stress that mothers have on their backs at all time, and share a collection of stories that either makes motherhood seem entirely stress free, or the worst thing that could ever happen to a woman. The book is an extraordinary book that has inspired many women, and has allowed them to realize how the rise in media has had a negative effect on motherhood.

Many women often wonder about why their lives seem so stressful; however the lives of other women such as “Celebrity Moms” seem to be rewarding and joyous (220). Douglas and Meredith go into further detail on how the rise in media influences new moms today. From the collection of real life stories from all different women, we see how the choices a mother makes deeply depends on the choices the mother down the street makes, or what they read about in magazines. The Mommy Myth takes a provocative tour through the past thirty years of media images about mothers: the superficial achievements of the celebrity mom, the news media 's sensational coverage of dangerous day care, the staging of the mommy wars between working mothers and stay-at-home moms, and values-based marketing that raises mothering standards to

impossible levels. The stories read come from celebrities such as Kirstie Allen, teaching mothers how they could have the perfect life to; just follow the simple instructions given (267). New moms today have to deal with the pressures enforced by the media, and are in constant competition with each other, trying to be the best mom. According to the New Momism, to be the best mom means you must love each and every second of mothering, have unlimited time and patience, and of course never lose your temper (299). The book deals with different situations that all mothers come across, and following the stories is a summary that allows women to recognize the absurd ideals that they are giving in to, and what they can do to change their decisions. The Mommy Myth allows women not to think of motherhood as a competition, and therefore allows them to recognize their mistakes, become their own person, and even teaches women that there isn’t only one way to be a successful mother (234).

The Mommy Myth is an inspirational read for all young mothers today. Readers may read this book and feel as though the author is talking down on the media; others look at it as coming to realization and realizing how the media has affected them in one way or another. The Mommy Myth is not a book that is trying to put mothers down but is simply helping women to recognize how the media can be manipulating, “One of the most shocking discussions (and yet still unsurprising, when I stopped to think about it) was the way the media manipulates, and in some cases entirely misrepresents statistics to create more "sellable" stories” (Press). The authors’ reasoning for writing this book was not to criticize the way mother’s parent, but was to open the eyes of naive mothers today and make them aware of the crazy ideals mothers get themselves in to. This book allows readers to understand that, “Momism is the ethic that has impossibly raised the levels of time and expertise needed to meet the rapidly rising minimum level of “good enough” mothering” (Press). “Yes, this book may be sarcastic and harsh but, it

helped me to become aware of how the media was affecting me, and allowed me to rethink some of the

ideals I was getting myself in to” (Press). Cathi Hanauer, an author and editor of the New York Times says the book is “Fascinating, funny, smart, scary, and long overdue. The book debunks the next big myth that’s gotta come down: that of the perfect mother, Do not skip this book” (Hanauer). Even Katha Pollitt, an award-winning columnist of The Nation magazine is thrilled with the book saying “I have one word for The Mommy Myth: Finally! With humour, wit and solid information, Douglas and Michaels take on the sentimentalized, privatized moralism of contemporary motherhood and show how it harms both women and children” (Pollitt). The Mommy Myth is written to open the eyes of young mothers, not to bring them down.

Douglas and Michaels proposed many valid points on their course to describe how motherhood has in fact changed throughout the years. The authors’ theory is very straight forward, but yet we notice how mothers still try to be the best by giving in to absurd ideals, just to be seen as a “good” mother in society. Both of the authors over exaggerated on some of their points throughout the book, and often repeated themselves while trying to prove a point. This book is more directed towards women who already have kids and young adults. After reading this book one can see the significant change in how mothers mother today and how they mothered thirty years ago. Mothers now are all in constant competition with each other, trying to be the best and often compare themselves to other mothers. Douglas and Michaels never insulted new mothers today, but instead helped them become aware of their peculiar actions that they thought was “normal”. Advice based on to ignore the media and not let it get the best of moms would have been a strong attribute to the book. This is a great read for new mothers today because it helps to recognize the effect that the media actually has on our daily decisions.

The Mommy Myth looks at the last 30 years of the media and notices that the media has a big impact on the way mothers parent today. The ideas of Susan Douglas and Meredith Michaels made this book an exceptional and inspiring read. If everyone was able to block out the negative ideas the media proposes, motherhood would be less competitive and therefore less degrading for women. It would no longer be terrifying and stressful and become fun, exciting, and enjoyable once again.

Works Cited

Douglas, Susan , and Meredith Michaels. The Mommy Myth . New York:

Simon & Schuster Inc., 2004.

Cited: Douglas, Susan , and Meredith Michaels. The Mommy Myth . New York: Simon & Schuster Inc., 2004.