The Onion By Bartolomeo Cristofori

The piano is introduced by Bartolomeo Cristofori as a revolutionizing instrument to the composition of music, while its' drawn delighted listeners through its melodies. The Onion presents Cristofori as the author of the following satirical piece article, which displays inventor's 'remorse' towards the murder of Luca Brasi in The Godfather. Within this analysis, Cristofori will be asserted as the writer of the satirical article due to the use of credibility in such phrases like "I" and "me." The invention of the piano cultivated the meaning of "nuance of expression," as it's ridiculed as the "instrument [of] death" through the use of exaggeration, sarcasm, humor, hypothetical scenarios, and appeals.
Bartolomeo Cristofori composed the resonance
of the piano as a "culmination of [his] life's work," until he transitions to a teary scene on the "consequences of [his] actions." His sarcastic tone adds onto the exaggeration of the instruments intentions in causing "the downfall of a man who wrought vengeance." Cristofori utilizes numerous hypothetical situations asserting ‘what-if’ situations if he were to have prevented the piano's construction. For instance, he appeals to the credibility and emotions of his achievements through claims such as, "[T]hinking about the life he might have lived if I hadn't invented [it]." He further satirizes the notion of his careless deeds through his 'remorseful feelings' and rhetorical questions like, “, "How could've been so selfish?" Throughout Cristoforo seance, he refers to the "dynamic range" of the piano's confinement in American music, while foreshadowing different outcomes, if he were to have "scrapped the whole project." He applies rhetorical questions that reiterate the tragedy that occurred due to his 'fault' and mindset if someone else were to have created the piano. Furthermore, Cristofori implements an exaggerating tone that emphasizes the ‘regret’ he has for not thinking about the "consequences of [his] actions." The article addresses a humorous appeal to emotions by an in-depth implication of Cristoforo guilt-ridden mind as he continues to endure backlashes on the different outcome of the piano's rise. Through this application, Cristofori is brilliantly satirized as a remorseful person developing his cherished invention that eventually leaves a man 'sleeping with the fishes.' On top of the compelling instrument, Cristoforo's humorous tone accentuates the satirical reminisce on the piano's upturn as a killing machine.
He interprets mockery through 'personal' concern of the inventions use from conceiving "sonatas of Beethoven" to quickly escalating into a bludgeoning weapon that caused the "guy from The Godfather getting strangled with [a] piano wire." Furthermore, the texture of incongruity sets the piano onto Cristoforo's guilty conscience. The instrument is often placed into scenes where Beethoven and the whimsical Rachmaninoff cultivated their aroma of harmonies, yet it's regarded to scenes that killed Brasi in The Godfather. The shifts in views are identified through incongruity since the transitions have a lack of compatibility between situations. Furthermore, Cristoforo constantly has a guilty conscience of placing himself at the scene of the crime as being the one whom "lashed the wire around his neck with my own hands." This exaggeration classifies the post ergo propter hoc fallacy since Cristofori is the inventor; therefore, he's at fault for Brasi's murder. The fallacy is exhibited throughout the article due to 'it was my fault' conscience of the inventor and shifting focus upon his 'association' with the murder, while he believes "[Brasi's] last thought was to curse the name of Bartolomeo
Cristofori." The article positions Bartolomeo Cristofori as the author through the application of credibility and applies a sarcastic tone in shifting the meaning of a piano to becoming a treacherous weapon among men. The utilization of hypothetical scenes, humorous tone, mockery, exaggeration, and the post ergo propter hoc fallacy underlines the satirical stanza for the purpose of connecting the guilt-ridden inventor to the murder of a fictional character in The Godfather. Lastly, the appeals of the creator's emotions are assembled through a sarcastic tone on his "bitter regret" for inventing the patio and further emphasized in the use of the post ergo propter hoc fallacy in setting Cristoforo as the culprit.