The People Left Behind by Suicide

The People Left Behind by Suicide
Helping those that are left behind, to help we first must understand what they are going through.
First we think about dealing with a death;
Adding to the pain of death, the person suffering from loss by suicide may also feel like they are being judged by everybody.
Just listen don’t assume how they feel, that you know how they feel. Be there for them when they need you.
Survivors may feel: *guilt, anger, blame, confusion, relief, despair, betrayal or abandonment *disconnected from their loved one because they chose to die *consumed by a need to find the meaning and reasons for the suicide *and exaggerated sense of responsibility for the death *that the suicide was an act of malice, or a way for the deceased to get back at them

Suicide is a difficult topic for many people. Cultural and religious taboos can lead to judgmental or condemning attitudes. Some people prefer to avoid even discussing suicide and their lack of knowledge about it makes them fearful. Attitudes like these can isolate and further stress survivors.
These people feel like they have been abandoned by everybody who used to support them, and socialize with them. They describe: *Being avoided by friends or acquaintances *Feeling judged *People behaving as if the death had not occurred
First, know that you are not alone. Approximately 1 out of 4 people know someone who died by suicide. It can also help to know that: *Suicide was the decision of the person who died *It is estimated that the majority of suicides are the result of untreated depression or other mental illness

Survivors of suicide are at high risk of completing suicide themselves. The experience suddenly makes the idea of suicide very real, and it is not uncommon for survivors to experience suicidal thoughts. suicide-related illnesses like depression run in families.
Because of this increased risk for suicide, survivors should not be isolated, but rather supported and encouraged to talk about all their feelings – even the most difficult ones.
No two people ever experience grief in the same way, or with the same intensity, but there are strategies that can help you cope with your loss. *Acknowledge that the death is a suicide *Recognize your feelings and loss *Talk openly with your family so that everyone’s grief is acknowledged and can be expressed *Reach out to your friends and guide them if they don’t know what to say or do *Find support groups where you can share your stories, memories and methods of coping *Be aware that birthdays, anniversaries etc. can be especially difficult and consider whether to continue old traditions or begin new ones *Develop rituals to honor your loved one’s life
Being a good listener is probably one of the most important thing you can do for a friend who is a survivor of suicide. It may be difficult, but it is not necessary for you to provide answers. Instead, you can be a comforting, safe person for someone who needs to talk.
What you can do: *Listen with non-judgmental compassion *Understand that your friend will need time to deal with their loss *Avoid saying things like “I know how you feel” *Talk about the person who has died *Offer assistance such as helping with shopping, cooking, driving *Find and offer information on resources, support groups, etc. *Be aware of difficult times that you may know of