Top-Rated Free Essay
Preview

The secret life of bees: relationship between parent and child

Good Essays
758 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
The secret life of bees: relationship between parent and child
Relationship between Parent and Child
When I was younger, scraped knees were a daily thing and whenever that happened I would always run to the most important person in my life for help: my mom. To a child, a parent is someone that can care for and love them. Children start their attachments during infancy. Moreover does a person have to be biologically related to be a parent to a child, and does it affect the relationship to a child’s understanding. Of the many different relationships we form over the course of a life span, the relationship between parent and child is among the most important.
A baby cries, a parent feeds her; a baby snuggles, a parent hugs her. When distressed, babies turn to the person who satisfies their needs. When babies or even children get hurt they rely on their parents for help. They would cry until safely in their mothers or fathers arms. I know this because not only did I do that as a child but I have a little cousin, a niece, and nephew who would run to their parents every time they were hurt, even if it was a little scratch. However some children never experience love and compassion from their parents. Like lily; form the book The Secret Life of Bees, her mother left her at a young age. Her father on the other hand, became cruel and mean toward lily. Given this, lily started developing feelings of being ‘unlovable’. This leaves the child without a secure attachment and then doesn’t stand a good chance of developing happy, competent relationships with others. Therefore, it goes to show that a child looks to their parents for care and love.
By the end of the first year, most infants who are cared for in families develop and attachment relationship with their primary caretaker. Some don’t believe this, they assume that children don’t understand anything, therefore they’re unable to create and attachment to a parent or the primary caregiver. But, research proves that a child will develop a strong bond with the one; in most cases the parent, that takes care and loves the child. The attachment between a parent and child doesn’t just stop there but grows more and more with behavior. The more the parent is a part of the child’s life the more the child attaches to them. For me I am more attached to my mom than my dad and it’s because my dad is more boy type but my mom and I are like twin sisters, we understand each other like no one else would. I spend most of my days with her and because of that our relationship is stronger. Children attach to their parents, and thus their relationship becomes a stronger bond.
Parental influence in the life of a child tells us how a child grows to understand life. I believe that a child without a mother loses certain aspects of life. And a child without a father loses a type of understanding and guidance in life. Without a parent the child’s ability to do right fail and they end up looking for that guidance in the wrong groups such as gangs or groups doing drugs. Children need their parents and look up to them for guidance. In addition research proves that a parent does not have to be related to the child, what defines a parent is “to be or act as parent of: to parent children with both love and discipline.” Lily’s mom died and she was left with an abusive father so she ran away. In the end of the story, she discovered that even though her mother was gone she still and 3 other mothers who loved her. The absence of parental influence can affect a child’s life negatively; however, a parent doesn’t have to be biologically related to be a caretaker.
Of the many different relationships we form over the course of a life span, the relationship between parent and child is among the most important. Children need their parents for multiple reasons. Children need the love and care of their parents. The attachment a child has toward their parents only grows with closeness. Without that a child loses important understanding that only a parent could provide. I look up to my parents for guidance and I learn things from their wisdom. My parents are more important to me than anyone else. Who’s the most important person in your life?

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Good Essays

    special outside washroom just for black people and not letting black people into stores or hotels in The Secret Life of Bees. Black maids are not allowed to use whites’ washroom and the guest washroom as white people think they carry ‘disease’ that will transmit to them through using the same toilet. “‘I did not raise you to use the colored bathroom!’ I hear her hiss-whispering, thinking I can't hear, and I think, Lady, you didn't raise your child at all. ‘This is dirty out here, Mae Mobley. You'll catch diseases!’” (Stocklett 102). Miss Leefolt does not allow her daughter, Mae Mobley, to use Aibileen’s washroom as she thinks black people carry disease. Black maids cannot use their employers’ washroom either so they have to use their special…

    • 329 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    -t-ray forces her to kneel on grits b/c he finds her in the orchard looking at the box of her mom’s things that she had buried (he thinks she’s out with a boy super late at night)…

    • 1369 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    "Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can't remember who we are or why we're here." Asserted from the 2002 novel Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd blew her breath in the lungs of this novel making sure that this story would never die. Based upon a time where life in the American South was tremendously different then what we know as life today and where not all people were treated with the same respect. The vivid pictures painted throughout the novel puts the reader in the middle of time with an authentic feel of how life was back then in 1964.…

    • 452 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Secret Life of Bees

    • 955 Words
    • 4 Pages

    Stories have an extremely important effect on the lives and the characters in the novel entitled, The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kid. This book is about a young 14 year old girl named Lily Owens. She has to go through life knowing that she killed her mother and that her father loathes her. She runs away form home and breaks her friend Rosaleen out of the hospital. They finally find a home, based on the clues that Lily’s mother left behind, and moves in with a family that accepts her for who she is rather than what she has to do, she can express her individuality. She gets a different look at the world and can see how stories, discrimination and family dynamics are important and valued differently. The stories in this book have three major functions in setting the stage for a good novel. They are: stories can be interpreted in many ways, stories can help people escape reality, and stories can have a lasting impact.…

    • 955 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Secret Life of Bees

    • 559 Words
    • 3 Pages

    Lily Owens, who is the main character of The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd, is a courageous girl who overcomes many challenges throughout the novel. For one thing, when she is curious, she is determined to do anything. Another example is she is not afraid to twist up the truth for her needs. Lastly, Lily performs heroic acts throughout the story. Throughout the novel, Lily Owens demonstrates the meaning of courage.…

    • 559 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    The Secret Life of Bees

    • 3403 Words
    • 14 Pages

    tone · Lily’s tone resembles the tone a child would effect when narrating a story in his or her diary, except with less self-loathing and more romantic language. Kidd relies on vivid imagery and poetic devices to help elevate the tone.…

    • 3403 Words
    • 14 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    The reality of appearances can deceive people and trick them into thinking that the best people are the worst, and the worst people are the best. In mind with that; reality of people versus their appearances shows greatly throughout the story The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. When the reader deciphers the question of appearances versus realities, they can see the differences between the reality of the characters, and the way that the characters appearances are portrayed by the townspeople in Kidd's book.…

    • 601 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Zack Lincoln Tayler is a determined young man. Zack is a character from the novel,”The Secret Life Of Bees”. The book is dated back to the 1960’s when there was segregation among African Americans. Zack is a determined young man, he has a dream of becoming a lawyer and bringing justice among racist white people, he doesn't have a bias opinion about certain types of people. He is in high school for the whole span of the book, he became very hard and more determined near the end of the book because he was arrested for being with a group of friends and one of the boys threw a glass bottle at a group of white men, Zack and his friends didn't admit which one of them threw the bottle, so him and his friends were arrested and taken to jail. This inraged…

    • 655 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Secret Life Of Bees

    • 1463 Words
    • 6 Pages

    The novel The Secret Life of Bees written by Sue Monk Kidd represents the maturation and development of one main central character. Before Kidd wrote this novel, she graduated from Texas Christian University with a B.S. degree in nursing, and she worked in nursing for many years. Later in life, in Kidd’s mid-twenties, she grew to love writing, and she eventually attended school for writing and obtained a degree in this profession. The novel, The Secret Life of Bees, started off as a short story that Kidd wrote, until she decided to turn the short story into an actual novel, she published in 2002. Although this is not Kidd’s first novel written, she often focuses on the development of one main character in her novels. In this novel, Lily Owens,…

    • 1463 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Best Essays

    The caregiver’s responses are at times appropriate and at times neglectful (Lumiere, 2012). Ambivalent attachment can also occur when the caregiver responds only to the physical needs such as feeding and changing, but ignores the infant’s need for human interaction and connection. The child is therefore unable to experience the caregiver as a secure base (Lumiere, 2012). A preoccupation with the caregiver’s availability is formed, seeking contact but resisting angrily when it is achieved. In this relationship the child always feels anxious because the caregiver’s availability is never consistent. Therefore this attachment style is at times also referred to as resistant, anxious or preoccupied (Lumiere,…

    • 2948 Words
    • 12 Pages
    Best Essays
  • Good Essays

    Mary Ainsworth Attachment

    • 456 Words
    • 2 Pages

    The amount of time children spend with their parents/caregivers is not the most crucial factor, the quality of the time spent together is better not the quantity. Several cross-cultural studies on attachment have been conducted. It was theorized that in western countries, most infants get attached to parents except in exceptional cases such as those with cognitive impairment. It was hypothesized that children with a secure attachment pattern inhabit more easily as compared to the children who are insecure. It was also assumed that attachment aids children in regulating emotions.…

    • 456 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Jones

    • 504 Words
    • 3 Pages

    It is very important that an infant develops a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for social and emotional development to occur normally. The attachment theory suggests that infants, toddlers and adults need time to create positive emotional bonds with one another.…

    • 504 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    The first relationship a child has with their parents or carers acts as an enduring model, shaping the capability to enter and maintain a positive relationship with family, friends and partners. It is understood that the initial and influential experiences with the people who first raised the child will affect their long-term emotional wellbeing.…

    • 2187 Words
    • 9 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Better Essays

    Erikson prefigured the attachment theory to stress the significance of a child’s ability to trust their caregivers to meet their needs as the foundation for upcoming social and emotional development. Erikson’s theory has eight stages of development. The eight stages are Trust vs. Mistrust, Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt, Initiative vs. Guilt, Industry vs. Inferiority, Identity vs. Confusion, Intimacy vs. Isolation, Generativity vs. Stagnation, and Integrity vs. Despair. Both Erikson’s theory & the attachment theory continue throughout an individual’s lifespan. The first stage of Trust vs. Mistrust can be compared with attachment. It occurs between birth-1 year old and it’s the most fundamental stage in life. This is the stage where the infant develops trust for their caregiver. If an infant develops trust they will feel safe & secure in the world. If an infant does not develop trust in their caregivers (if they are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or reject them), the infant will believe that the world is inconsistent and unpredictable. The attachment theory also has, on some basis, Trust vs. Mistrust. In the attachment theory, if a child is asked if their attachment figure is nearby, and they respond “yes” he/she feels loved, secure, and confident, and, behaviorally, is likely to explore his or her environment, play with others, and be sociable. If the child’s answer is no he/she experiences anxiety and, behaviorally, is likely to exhibit attachment behaviors ranging from simple visual searching on the low extreme to active following and vocal signaling on the…

    • 1029 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    Attachment

    • 683 Words
    • 3 Pages

    as a lasting psychological connection between human being. The infant knows that the caregivers are dependable, which creates a secure base for the child so they can explore the world.…

    • 683 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays

Related Topics