People can get so bored of their own life, that they start to find interest in others. This can turn out to an obsession. What other people think of you or your family means a lot for some people, especially if they are insecure about them self. Some people care so much of what others think that they make their l oved ones to victims of their own insecurities. This is what happens in “They’re not your husband” by Raymond Carver.
The story is about Earl Ober who is an unemployed salesman, and his waitress wife Doreen. Earl overhears two men in the coffee shop where Doreen works at, talking about her weight, her ass1 and the thick black veins along her leg as she reaches for some ice-cream at the bottom of the freezer. They also talk about how they do not like fat women and want a thinner woman than his wife. Earl then starts to get obsessed with Doreen’s weight, which resolves in him convincing Doreen to lose weight by starving herself. Doreen is getting thinner and sicker because all the weight she lost in such short term.
At the moment Earl is unemployed and every three or four days he has an interview with different companies2. Earl tends to go drinking quite often; “One night when he was drinking”.3 Earl either drinks at home or goes to a bar. It bothers Earl that he doesn’t have a job. He is in many ways socially lost and lonely, with no hobbies. This is partly the reason why he starts drinking and suddenly visits Doreen at her job. It is also why he is so obsessed with Doreen’s weight. Another reason is that Earl is insecure and embarrassed about himself. These insecurities are tested at the coffee shop where he hears the strangers insulting Doreen’s look. Instead of defending his wife against the two men he goes home. He is humiliated over flaws he never seemed to realize until now. He fears what other people think of Doreen and he is allowing the men’s comments on Doreen to affect him. He feels like Doreen’s looks